Chirut the cunning welcomed Hap ‘HApless’ Less into his office. ‘Welcome welcome you’re a lucky goblin. I’ve got a great new role for you’
Hap looks nervously around. ‘Um is it the one where I have to stand next to the various big guys and get hit?’
‘Haha no no ….you ll still need to do that but you’ve def been getting better at that. No this role is that of literary device. You just need to sit there and interject occasionally to keep the story moving.’
’interje…inter….ok I can do that’
Chirut rocked back in his seat. ‘Right where will we begin? After the darkest day in Undertopia history, when the musical team whose name we no longer speak, rampaged through our team and almost ended us…we reset. The season started well… there was a lot of pent up anger and aggression and the poor flings bore the brunt. They are coached exceptionally well but the release after ‘the team we do not name’ was unstoppable. The next game was best described as brutal. Two teams going at it and just removing each other. About Six players left standing at end. We lost original team captain Jumbuk the Handsone in that game but no one went to his funeral. He was pretty unlikeable.’ ‘Yeah I didn’t like him’ ‘no one did. No one did. But he was an experienced player to knocked our rebuilding efforts. Next was the dirty humans. They identified me as a threat and went all out to remove me. And they did. They took me out for a game….but at this stage well…we’ll almost celebrate these. Managed to hang on for a draw and after three games we were miraculously unbeaten. Our brother rats were next. We took a hammer to them first half and relaxed. Which, as ever was a mistake….they had an interesting tactic of launching a gutter into the middle of our cage where he would fall firm or beaten down. Until crucially In the 2nd half, he never fell and sacked he ball carrier despite being heavily outnumbered and out powered. We can learn from him…the power of perserverence’ ‘perse…persev…yeah the power of keeping on’. The dwarves came next. They did what dwarves do best…removed rats and gobbos and fail to pick up the ball. I was the only rat left on the pitch at the end of the game but managed to stall them enough. As I stared up at the dwarves who surrounded me and waited for the coup de grace I can only thank the mercy of the dwarves coach who stayed the killing boot to the face.’
’um is that like a metafor for the whole team how you are the only player that is keeping us going?’ Chirut lookrd thoughtful ‘hmm you may be right. Good to see you’re growing into the role but try not to get above yourself. You ll still be on sacrificial duty come new season…’ the second flings game came up. Both flings game were coached well so they were actually competitive. If a fling had landed, we would have lost …but devastatingly he didn’t so as well as being hilarious saved us the draw.
‘Then came the last game…the elves with a fishy odour stood between us and the playoffs, Winner takes it all. The elves comfortably danced around us and at 1-1 they kod slothbrother stone killer to remove any chance of a draw. I had been removed earlier. Still we were all about recovery this season’ Hap looked at the card he had just been handed and painfully read it out . ‘So are we back boss? Are we really back?’ ‘We’re getting there….we’re getting there….some scores to settle…if that doesn’t drive us on what will?’ Chirut rocked back. At this point, he thought , Jumbuk would be unleashing his maniacal laugh. Chirut just sat back and looked hard into future. ‘Next season will be ours.’