Arise the skeleton army !!

Coach Warthog woke up late into the afternoon, he slept long, exhausted from the previous night’s events. He still questioned himself whether he’d dreamt the whole thing, the hundreds of skeletons, the boney messenger and the stadium blue prints. He lay there contemplating the events that had occurred, he got out of bed, stretched, scratched his crotch and made his way to the balcony to take in the fresh air. He threw open the wooden shutters and went to look out onto the astrogranite below him where the Thugz had left many a memory imprinted on his heart. But………

There was no astrogranite. In its place stood a tall structure, a stadium in fact. Reaching higher than the Thugz arena ever did and a pale blue dome appeared to magically enclose the ground. Hairy took a step back,

“how did this get here??? It wasn’t here yesterday”!

He thought to himself. Getting dressed and making his way outside to inspect this building he was stopped by Ajax the chaos dwarf.

” boss, this is unbelievable, we’ve had guys up all night watching this stadium being built, those skeletons that swarmed this place? They did it. They didn’t stop, they didn’t talk to each other, they didn’t even look at each other, they worked all through the night and disappeared once it was complete”.

Hairy observed the newly built stadium that now covered the Thugz training ground, he walked through the turnstiles and onto the pitch. He could see a very thin team, practicing blood bowl, passing (not very well), catching (even worse) and generally just running around aimlessly! As the coach approached the team stopped what they were doing and lined up in front of him.

At this point it dawned on Hairy, they were all skeletons!!! The one closest to him broke rank and approached Warthog.

“Coach, allow me to explain. You were chosen. You are the chosen one. ”

Still confused, Hairy looked at him blankly,  the skeleton continued,

“We are the Harryhausens, once we were a human blood bowl team, we weren’t anything special, we didn’t win much but we loved to play”.  “Anyway, a few hundred years ago we played here in a tournament, all teams and races attended, we didn’t win but enjoyed ourselves a little too much afterwards in the bar”.

Hairy still listening and slightly confused about what was going on had to sit down to digest what he was getting told.

“Well, things got out of hand, some of the lads got abut too friendly with some dark elf cheerleaders, their team took exception to it, and the wizard they had hanging around hit us all with a fireball, well, obviously we died”!

He continued,

“Turns out this wizard was a necromancer and as further punishment he reanimated our corpses after we had been buried in a tomb in your cemetery, and sealed us in so couldn’t escape, to top things off he made that stupid treeman take root on the magic seal which enclosed us. What happened next, a while later I’m not sure, a flash of light, the smell of burning and the seal was broken but I do know this, you have been chosen, you are the Lord of Bones and we are here to serve you”.

Hairy thought about it, skeletons. Don’t need sleep, don’t need feeding, minimal wage, this could work. The coach rose, asked the team to continue training, his fate had been decided for him but little did he know more skeletons were rising from the grave and forming teams across the lands.

This was the dawning of a new age, the bone age !



  1. The dawning of the new age: The Bone Age!!!! – Love that line! – Hilarious

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