At home with the Thugz

DATE – 16/10/2016 TIME – 20:28

PLACE – Black Stronghold Locker Room.

Having been worked hard on the training square, The Beast in the East – Hairy Warthog has assembled his squad for a team talk and Q & A session.

HW – Right lads, let’s put last week behind us and look towards our next match. This one is not going to be pretty. The Flat Earth Angels are a tough set of buggers and there will be casualties. All I can suggest is hit them harder than they hit us, bite them deeper than they bite us and shout rude words louder and ruder than they can, and if any of you are left standing at the end of it, then we hit the bar afterwards for some drinking, girls and stomping wardancers! Any questions ??

Sloukly Mantle had been listening intently, well one of his heads had, the other was flicking through the pages of PlayGoat magazine and paying an unhealthy interest to the centre pages featuring Pamela Ramderson and her six silicon teats! The first head addressed his coach, ” baaaaa! Grrrrrrrr neeeh maaaa gggra meeehhh bah! “, which for those of you who don’t speak fluent beastman translates as, ” coach! Can you get this other head removed from me!? He keeps me awake all night with his errrrm reading and this extra arm”!!

Hairy replied in his usual diplomatic way, ” Sloukly, sorry pal, you’re stuck with him, just have to learn to live with it, any other questions”?

The coach could see the Dal’shin brothers giggling at the back of the class. They had somehow managed to tie the tail of Frizny Beard to one of Basebull’s tentacles without either of them noticing. Before Hairy could stop him he saw Reapwarp release a small mouse on the floor which ran between the Minotaur’s legs. You see, Basebull Fury’s only fear is rodents, ( he has to have hypnotherapy before playing against skaven), on seeing the tiny mouse he ran straight for the nearest exit dragging Frizny with arms flapping helplessly behind him!!!

Hairy Warthog put his head in his hands, and muttered, “Nuffle, Nurgle, Lorne, anyone!!  Please, please, please for once give me a break, it’s hard enough as it is having to baby sit these jokers by myself”!

“Class dismissed” !!





  1. I feel your pain, Hairy. Awesome story though. I love the notion of ‘Playgoat’ and Pamela Ramderson! – Not too much you understand… Just conceptually… But maybe I should quite there. I think we will have to remember Baseball Fury’s weakness if we ever get matched. 🙂

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