Mining companies are used to tragedy striking in the dark and dangerous furness at the core of the Earth down the mines as they seek their fortune in precious metals. Mirhil the Captain of the Denver Dynamos was at his lowest ebb when he had that fateful meeting last year with Harfur Silversson, the miserable dwarf, in that harbour-side tavern of dubious repute on the shores of Frisco Bay, which would ultimately lead to his doom.
Silversson spotted the desperate elf from across the tavern and lay in waiting for Mirhil with the help of his mate, the barkeep. Unbeknownst to Mirhil, Harfur was a good friend of the dodgy merchant that bought Mirhil’s ship and a trap was set to exploit the elves as Silversson lay in wait.
Silversson spun a yarn of his late father’s mining concession deep in the Rocky mountains promising Mirhil and his company of pirates a fortune waiting to be had below the earth. Taking a pirate from the high seas and putting him underground in the dark like a dwarf was just unnatural. But desperate times call for desperate measures and against their better judgement the Dark Elves left behind the fresh sea breeze, the promise of piracy as ships lay becalmed due to the Great Cinnamon Crash and headed inland to the mountains.
What Silversson, nor Mirhi, could have foreseen was the twist of fate where after another day of fruitless mining the elves would be introduced to, and beguiled by, the prospect of Blood Bowl after Harfur couldn’t help chuckling at the elves as he tossed a pigskin about aimlessly.
It turned out these pirating elves were naturals and Mirhal was set to quarterback the Dynamos to fame, and most importantly fortune. As they worked their way up from the local dwarven leagues to receive an invite to the show – the Challenge League in MML there was much optimism, as it would turn out misplaced.
Opening day of the season saw the newly formed Denver Dynamos take on the brutish Rorc of Revelation… a lethal cocktail of nerves as the Dynamo’s made their debut in front of Redzone cameras and the illegal hiring of Nobbla, the chainsaw wielding goblin, meant the team stuttered when they should have soared. In an ominous sign of a plagued season Mirhil, took a swift chainsaw to the goolies as he lay prone on the deck after being caught out from fumbling a desperate long pass into his open blitzer in the end zone in turn two of the first half.
Mirhil was KO’d but survived the first half but going down 2-0 in the opening match was a stark reminder that these bash teams they’d passed rings around in the small time dwarven leagues were nothing compared to the increased competition of the MML and they weren’t in Kansas now Toto (ed. note: not that they’d ever visited Kansas before). As it turned out no disgrace was to be had losing to Rorcs of Revelation, even though the Dynamos failed to reach their potential, as Coach Hedonihilist managed an incredible undefeated debut season.
With the hiccup behind them it was time for the Dynamos to fire up and put together a run of three back-to-back wins. The potential of these pirates became abundantly clear as Mirhil put together a number of stunning passes to rack up the touchdowns. He was also not shy in using his extra movement gained in pre-season training to run in a few scores himself whilst rushing past the slower chorfs – Fire Mountain Brawlers, dorfs – Granite City Grimbeards and the haflings of Sackville Elevenses! Although Mirhil did suffer the embarrassment of injuring himself in a needless GFI against the Grimbeards as they were on the end of a proper dicing from Nuffle.
Mirhils hard charging from the front was rewarded as he was promoted to level 4 and gained an extra Ag – proving to be one of the fastest and nimblest players in the league and just in time to face the Gladers for the promised high octane elf off with the Wood Elf team. However Nuffle was to bring Merhil and the Dynamos back down to earth with a bump.
On the offence in the first half they suffered the challenge of a blitz, but managed to wrestle the ball back to surge into the Gladers half. However some desperate defending, gnarly wardancer shenanigans and a boat load of 1s saw the Gladers scoop back up the ball and lob it down field turn 8 to score against the drive.
It was looking ominous for the Dynamos as the Gladers’ armour held firm. However, a premature potating down the left wing left the Gladers catcher open to a sack and Nuffle duly obliged. It took until the turn 15 for the Dynamos to work themselves into scoring position as the Gladers Treeman took up a dominant field position deep in the Dynamos half. Turn 16 one die Pow from a Wardancer was Nuffle’s sick sense of humour on full display as Mirhil tumbled three squares from the endzone.
Picking up the ball but with nowhere to go the wardancer was there for the block, but nothing but a Pow would do… getting into a two die position double both down was not going to cut it – the final reroll burned and ka-POW! The wardancer took a block in the kisser, went down and spilled the ball in prime position for a nearby lineman to pick up the ball and walk in the ball turn 16 to get a hard fought but deserved draw. Nuffle said not today as the failed pickup was the obvious outcome.
The ugliest elf game ever played they might as well have been dwarves and their kicker suffered a broken leg and a movement bust… and they said mining was dangerous.
Disheartened but buoyed by the midseason signing of Gladys Knight – rookie Witch Elf, as they headed into a tough clash against the undefeated Lizard team, Rocking Rhinos (who would run out eventual and deserved undefeated winners of the division). A tactical error from Coach Jock bringing in the Knight gave away enough inducements for the Rhinos to replace their MNG saurus, AC-DC meant the prospect of a tough match lay ahead.
The Rhino’s needn’t have worried a disgruntled dwarf in the Dynamo’s home crowd threw a perfectly aimed rock at Mirhil waiting to receive the kickoff in the backfield… boom KO’d and that was that – he didn’t wake from his slumber for the rest of the match. A serious dicing was to be thrown down from Nuffle meaning there was nothing the dark elves could do as two more linemen faced bone crushing injuries and movement busts to boot.
Last game of the season against the tricky and sneaky Gitsville Zero was a potential banana skin – perhaps not from a results perspective with only two wins to their name in over twenty games but certainly for any blood bowl player who were keen to maintain their ‘elf! The Zero’s took the offensive drive and promptly scored after turn four… The Dynamos responded swiftly with a score themselves to level the game 1-1 before the half, but not before the Zeros killed a blodge blitzer – apo to the rescue phew! However Coach Jock rushing out to save his blodger was to prove fatal… just a few short turns later the home crowd was stunned as some random gobbo ran up to Mirhil stuck the nut on him and killed him stone dead!
The Dynamos were rocked to their core as their leader bled out unceremoniously on the sideline. Whatever Coach Jock said at half time was enough to gather the team together… win for the gipper or other such trite speech – Any Given Sunday it was not! With a short kick the Zeros were put under immediate pressure as the removals came thick and fast and the ball was scooped up by the Dynamos. The game effectively over and the elves with the last turn took the safety first approach of stalling out and remove any gobbo that came near their own endzone…
The Dynamos ran out 2-1 winners to finish the season 4-0-3 but with Mirhil, the captain and soul of the team no longer with us the joy and promise of the discovery of Blood Bowl left a sickening feeling deep in the pit of the players left to pick up the pieces….
There’s now serious doubt as to whether the team will stick it out for next season…one of the busted lineman is already talking about getting his shattered leg amputated from knee down and getting a peg leg before hitting the high seas in a pirate cliche.
Some have talked about leaving the darkness of the Denver mountains behind and approaching the dodgy merchant about funding the setting up a new Franchise on the West Coast where they can play with the sea breeze and salt air in their nostrils… who knows what happens now – maybe coach Jock can get a big off-season transfer to lead the team and convince these land pirates to raid the MML next season!