Gaesmal’s Diaries: Love Letter

Hello Dear Diary,

That’s it, I decided to… attack on Xiaoyan. As I wanted it to be discret (you know, I’m not the kind of guy that seeks to impress others), I just left this letter in her locker. Can’t wait to see her answer… But I let you see how poetic I’ve been (you can even take advices from it, consider that letter as a gift to all lovers).

“Dear Xiaoyan,

I know you don’t dare approach me because of my function in the club ; don’t worry, I understand that it could become difficult for you with your teammates as they would consider our relation not as it really is – true love – but as an opportunity from you to be well seen by the direction. Or maybe is it just that I impress you ? I could understand that too, but once again don’t worry ; I’m used to that feeling, most of all my ex-girlfriends had it (and I guess you can imagine how many of them I had, but it’s ok now it’s your turn, you sexy little woman).

So that’s why I’m making the first step myself ; I usually never do nor need it, but I’ll make an exception for you. You know Xiaoyan, when I first saw you, the beauty of your as…. I mean your eyes just let me defenseless. Your boo…. Natural charm was so bouncing when I saw you at first training that since then, even if you probably didn’t notice it at all, I couldn’t stop thinking of you. I know you obviously fancy me as well, but I wouldn’t like to seem overconfident so I’ll keep on writing like I didn’t knew. Don’t thank me, tha’ts a normal thing for such a player as I am.

Xiaoyan, think about all we could be and do together ; think to your happinness, avoiding to ask what did you do to deserve to have that beauty standard fancying you. Stop questioning yourself about me, just enjoy to have all that I am at your side. You know, life can be great to with me ! Of course, it’ll be a bit difficult for you to make abstraction of all the jalousy you’ll get in return from any other woman (especially Witch Better Have My $), it’ll be tough for you to overwhelm admiration and simply seize our day-to-day love, but I’m sure you’ll make it. Of course, you’ll have to share me from time to time with other women, but hey ! That’s the ransom of being with incarnated sexyness (yes, me). And I saw from the start that you were able to get rid of that natural jealousy when it comes to me, as you hided so well your feelings toward me, so I know you’ll be fine.

Every single day I will totally exhaust you with that « special trianing » I told you, as I exhausted so many women before. And I know you’ll be a perfect woman to me ; of course you’ll be very careful to what you eat (you wouldn’t like to be dumped because of two pounds taken, no?) and in return, I’ll take care of money business so you don’t have to worry about that. Yes, I’ll take care of your wages, I know you don’t like money things, way too vulgar for you. With all that we’ll probably be able to buy a house, and why not, let’s be crazy : why not having a dog, or a skink in the garden ? I already imagine you doing the washing-up while a throw ball to that dog (or skink, should work too apparently), I already see you cleaning the house while I work on our future winning strategies (if Stunty ever listen to me once)… I know, it looks way too perfect to be real, but believe me, this could become true.

Last but not least, you’ll love my mother. She’s great ! She always wants to help, you know, and be sure she’ll help you. I mean, she’ll tell you what I like, she’ll tell you how to keep me no matter how hard it is, she’ll tell you how should cook, clean, dress… Everything. Oh thinking of it, here’s a great idea : why wouldn’t she just come and live with us ? We would be so happy then ! One thing though : you’ll have to stop drinking alcolhol, she hates it but you know how small sacrifice it is compared to all that she’ll give you.

One more thing : being with me will give a real important social position, don’t forget it. I’ll be waiting for you outside the woman locker (I know you don’t like me to go in there, you shy girl ;-)) at the end of training today so we can have se… kiss at last.

Your idol, Gaesmal.

PS : if for some reason you don’t feel like meeting me there, just change your name at the beginning and give that letter to Witch Better Have My $, I don’t have time to write another one for her. But remember your my favorite out of you two.”

PS 2: and if she’s not up too, just give it to any of your pretty young female friend, I think you’ll understand I want to maximize my chances to get a relationship quick.


  1. Fr:TheRealDrumph: Women are coy, Gaesmal. A “No” means “Yes”. Not that I ever ask to begin with.
    #You know what mean 😋

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