Gaesmal’s Diary: Meeting Drumph at last!

Dear Diary,

That’s it ! I met Drumph ! I know you’ve been looking forward to hear about it, well read about it, oh errr being written about it, oh never mind Dear Diary, stop interrupting me !

M Drumph accepted to give me an audience because apparently he had heard about me before. My fame reached even Bretonnia ? Wow I’ll have to be careful, or coach Stunty might become jalous.

He recieved me in a huge and beautiful office, with golden stuffs everywhere so it didn’t even look empty. By the way his assistant has nothing to envy to witches, but even I understood that it wasn’t a good idea to try something… At least for now.

« So, dear Gas Mile, come and sit, don’t be shy ! #GreatHostIAm
-Actually it’s Gaesmal, Mister Drumph…
-Oh yeah. But who cares ? #OhPlease »He went in a deep communicative laugh, and I laughed as well, understanding that it was a joke ; of course he knew my name !

« Don’t be shy, you’re probably a great guy. What can Great Bretonnia and I do for you ? #ImNotSocialWelfare
-Well, I don’t know for Bretonnia, but I…
-Wanna a glass of our wine ? Have a glass of wine, it’s excellent. #YouWontBeAbleToDrinkAnythingElseAfter
-Well, errr… Ok, but just one then.
-Very good, fellow ! Claudia, would you please bring us two bottles of wine from « special guests » reserve, sweetie ? #NiceButt
-Errr.. Didn’t we say a glass, Sir ?
-Oh well, a glass, a bottle, who cares it’s all the same ! #LookAtThatBody» He laughed again deeply. I did too, not knowing what else to do.

The assistant left the room and came back a minute after with two bottles and two enormous golden cups.
« Cheers, Gus Snail ! #AlaVotreLikeTheySaySomewhere
-Actually it’s Ga…
-Yeah yeah. Cheers, was I saying ! Did you know a funny thing about this wine ? Once the bottle is opened, it’s so old that you absolutly have to drink it right way, can’t keep it even a few days #BottomsUp »
I was wandering why did we have to drink this, so. If it’s too old, why is it for guests ? Don’t they have a brand new one here instead?? That would have been more polite ! And I was also wandering about the alcohol effects on me ; my mother had never let me drink wine or beer before, saying that’s no good for what I have. So a whole bottle… And how the hell does he manage to make those # things ? Whats the meaning of that ? Strangers are strange, actually. I’ll have to remember that, it could use. Still, he drank his glass straight, and I did the same.
-Now, Mr Drumph, I…
-Hold on, good fellow ; the first glass is for meeting, now we must have a second for friendship ! #FillUpYourCup
-Oh ok, then ! What about listening a little bit of country music, meanwhile ? »
The wine was making me feeling at ease, I loved that. I almost forgot who I was and why did I came here, but I didn’t care. That funny feeling was soooooo good ! Once a coach named More_Shots told me about it, and I can tell now how much he was right.
« Country Music ? Oh come on, it’s not fashionable enough for me ! #WhyDidTheySendMeAPeon
– Oh ? Errr ok ! (I realized my whole strategy was down, but don’t worry Dear Diarry ; I’m pretty used to it. Actually I think if it had worked well, this is where I would have felt really lost).
– Aaaah, love that wine. Don’t you ? #YouAlreadyKnowHowItGoes
-Oh yeah yeah, the best I ever drank !
-I’m not surprise at all, good fellow ! #PleaseAvoidObviousness »
Those # things were starting to lose me. Or was it the wine ? Or just my normal state ? Or the evidence that the end of the world was very close ? While I was wandering, we drank a fourth cup.
– Now, you’ve got my attention, good fellow #MakeItQuick
-Well Mr Drumph, I’ll go straight to the point : as season 5 will start in few weeks, we…
– In a few weeks, good fellow ? It’s just starting today ! #YoureEitherLateOrRetardedOrBoth
-What ??? »
How could coach Stunty do that to me ? Could he have send me away from team on purpose ? No, he wouldn’t ever. So… OH MY GOEDSMAL ! It’s my fault !! It took me too much time to travel here, I’m late ! And now the team must probably get anxious to the idea of starting the season without their best asset (yes, me) !! Oh no ! I left my team at the moment they needed me the most ! Shaaaame ! Well still, it’s gonna be easier to go back to them at least, won’t have to cross those four (oh wait wasn’t it six ? Seven ? Damn wine) seas once again. Good thing, after all. And it might be the occasion for them to see how much they need me too. Well finally, I’m happy with that, Dear Diary. But let’s get back to Drumph :
– Oh yeah yeah, of course I know, sorry forgot about what day we are today, I left my team a bit too long ago.
– Another Cup ? #ThisGuyIsAllRedAlready
-Yes please !
– (glups) Go ahead now #ThisIsTakingTooLong
-So We Gold Team need for
-What ? #Misunderstanding
-Sorry I happens know don’t what me
-No worries, good fellow, take your time. Another cup ? Cheers ! #SurprisinglyFastDrunkJerk

I don’t remember what followed after that, Dear Diary. All I remember is being woke up by the butler.
« Mr Gaesmal, Mr Drumph apologizes but he had to leave early this morning. He wishes you a good trip, a gave me that purse for you. He ordered me to remind you about your promise concerning witches before you leave, by the way.
-My pro… Yes, YES, of course, you can tell him I always honor my promises. Thanks a lot, wish you the best.
– Same to you sir ».
What the hell did I promise, Dear Diary ? Help me !! I sometimes wonder why I’m wasting time writting you, if you’re not able to help me in reminding things I forgot ? Isn’t it supposed to be your main goal ? Oh forget about that, I’m sorry, it’s just that I’m a bit annoyed with that. Plus I have a terrible headache. I opened the purse, there were 10 Gold Crowns in it. I think there might have been a misunderstanding between Drumph and me, but with season 5 starting, I guess I can’t afford to stay here any longer. If I make it quick and with a little luck, I might join the team on time for opening season game. Anyway my mision is successful : I got gold from Drumph !

This episode was kindly approved by Sturmjarl before release, thanks again dear Bretonian coach! #MakingBretonniaGreatAgain


  1. Fang-friggin-tastic!! Just when you think these articles can’t get any better, coaches collaborate and they reach a…whole…’notha…level!!! Nice work! Can’t wait to see the plot thicken, as we all know it will.

  2. Poor Gas Mile with his mummy never letting him drink wine before! It all reads as if he is writing drunk, which works beautifully! I dread to think what the witches are going to do to him! Much love for Gaesmal, he is my hero! I think I want to steal him as my assistant coach…Lol… Need to get onto that Stunty!

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