HA ! The fast look I had to the table gave me an unexpected good news : my team was qualified for playoffs ! Take that in your face, Stunty,;I succeeded in something you rarely did, after only two seasons. Respect me now, witch !!
As I am a magnanimous coach, and mostly because I imagined a large reward for that qualification, I decided to organize a greeeeaaat party for players – at least those who survived the regular season.
And I have to say, I did things well, dear diary ;
At first I ordered fifteen boxes of bretonian wine, I know it’s good as I tasted it with Drumph himself. Well, maybe it’s not that good for memory, but heyyy ! Who cares, after all ?
Still, I had a few issues with it : there were this stair in front of the office door, certainly a bit two high ; I threw dow 3 boxes by stumbling. I was willing to pursue the owner of the building for the danger that stair represents, but he replied I build it myself. Then I received a letter from his lawyer informing me that I was getting pursued for buildong illegally a stair. Damned ! Then I had to taste the wine – even if my mother always told me it’s not good for me. The day after, couldn’t remember the taste of it – what was I supposed to do then, dear diary ? Of course I tasted it again, what else xould have been done ??? It took me 2 more boxes to remember that… It was good (except for memory, yes).
Then I chased… Hum I looked for witches to make the party a bit more exciting. First one I asked transformed me in frog, second one took me… A very precious part of my body et the last one accepted, at one condition : that I dress like her. I swear I tried dear diary, but every single player I showed to to know if it was ok got sick. That was a bit embarassing, I must say… SO I couldn’t have those witches for the party, such a shame. Bah ! Getting refused by witches is the whole story of my life, anyway (by the way, if you have an advice for me to succeed in getting just one, please let me know fast dear diary ; desperation is close as you can see).
So we had drinks, we almost had witches, what else do we needed ? Music of course ! And this was easy : I just hired… Justin WoodRiver !! Get your sexy back back, baby !! Unbelievable he accepted, uh ? That’s my style. With all this (and mostly because I didn’t have much money left, especially as I borrowed it waiting to get paid by the MML), I think we were ready to celebraaaaate this playoffs qualification.
Not that we didn’t have a good time, dear diary, but I think things could have gone a bit better. We lost a few things here, let me tell you :
– We lost a player, getting injured by tripping on the stair (damned!)
– We lost two more, after a little brawl started when I offered a bottle to the last one standing in a battle royal
– We lost Justin WoodRiver too. Did you know him dear diary ? He actually wasn’t the star we expected, but only someone with a close name – unlike his talent, which was far from the original. So we made sure he cried us a river, at least we had one thing from the star. And to complete the picture, we drowned him in a river. If we can’t get proper music, let’s get proper fun ; we’re dark elves, aren’t we ?
– I lost my pants
– we lost self control with all this bretonain wine, well mostly when it came to and end actually : players reproached me not to have ordered enough, and went even more angry when I explained them that I had to drink a few boxes tasting it. Ungrateful kids !
– We lost three more players, getting jailed for « decency attack », or something like that ; so I can add :
– Some of us lost their dignity (I guess)
– We all obviously lost memories about that night.
But Most of all, by the early morning, a MML messenger came to the office to tell us that we… LOST THE QUALIFCATION FOR PLAY OFFS !
– As I said, you are not qualified for playoffs, Sir.
– But… I’ve seen the table, we were second !
– By equality
– And ?
– Did you read the MML rules, Sir ?
– Oh come on, who’s got time to read this ?? It’s like rules from website registrating, I never read them !
– It’s a shame ; if you did you would have known there was a Strengh of Schedule rule.
– Who’s that Schedule ?? I’m sure he ain’t that strong !
– Errrr… I’m afraid it’s unbeatable right now.
– Conspiracy !!
– RULES !
– Oh ok ! But will I get paid anyway ? That is to say, I already spent a bit of money on this party and…
– DAMNED !!”
Things are getting tough dear diary, once again I’ll have to find money to fix all this…
To be continued