Gaesmal’s New Way Of Life: three games one sheet

Dear Diary,

It’s been a looooooooong time since I didn’t write you. Sorry about it, but as you probably noticed I forgot you in the locker room a few month ago, so I couldn’t write before. Oh, and sorry for forgetting you too, by the way. Anyway ! Time to tell you about our three first games, now that we’re back in MML !

The first one was versus orks. Bad memories eh ? Green Tied Tight Pants, all those things… I must say they all came back fast to my mind as soon as the game started. I don’t remember it clearly as I spent most of the game hiding my eyes in my hands – not sure it was to avoid the sight of violence or just the shame -but it started quite bad : green skins (or are they blue ? Damn color blindness!) took the ball on our drive and scored at the very end of first half, receiving on second one. Memories, memories… So I did as I always did with The Blitzkriegers : I pretended to be sick and went hide in the bathroom. Don’t ask me why, that’s a reflex. And when I came back, The team had the equalizer and even had a chance to steal the game ! Well I don’t know how they did, but as soon as I sat on the bench, guys became clumsy and that was a draw. HA ! How talented I am, eh ? Don’t even need to coach to steal a game, Stunty would never have managed that!Don’t know why most journalists wrote it was pure luck, probably by jealousy. Meh.

Then we had to face ogres ; for that game, I had a special training for my players based on fetal position. We practised days and days how to IMMEDIATLY (speed is everything on this maneuver) fall down and curl up when facing an ogre. I must say it worked well, as we had… No casualties at all ! Call me genius, witch ! We won, many say because we didn’t fail a single dice when our opponent missed almost everything, but now you know the truth : hard strategical training was the key, nothing else.

Third game was versus rats. RATS !!! It makes me shiver… Not as much as mice, but still, freeky.

They received the ball on first half, and scored quite fast : couldn’t understand how they did, untill I saw on the replay that there was a little hole in my defense. So thight… Only 12 yards wide, that’s nothing !!! Sneaky guys, they noticed it when it was almost impossible for a human being to see it. Well, I guess : I wouldn’t have seen it myself, I never do untill they’re at least 20 yards wide – and mama always called me Eagle Eye though (or maybe it was Niggle High ? Can’t remember).

Anyway ! They scored, and removed us a few players : business as usual. You know the deal, then : Bathroom, hiding, shame, I just came back on turn 16 to see the team scoring the winning TD while most of rats were out. HA ! After the game in the locker room players explained me that as soon as I woke up from the bench, nothing at all worked anymore for rats. They congratulated me for bribing ref and very efficient praying to Nuffle, cheering my name. As an answer, I just took my most enigmatic attitude and simply slightly smiled at them. They’re so young… I refuse to be the one breaking their believes, especially concerning my coaching ! I would be a monster to destroy teenagers dreams explaining them it was only pure luck, wouldn’t I ? it’s only a matter of integrity not to tell the truth !

I’ll try to write you a bit more often now that I found you back dear diary, take good care of you till next time !

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