Grunts Suspended For Violating Team Policy

“I was notified on Monday of a four-season suspension for violating the team’s drug policy,” the third-year goblin said in a statement released by the team. “My initial instinct was to appeal the suspension and finish the season with my teammates. After numerous discussions with those close to me – including Coach Preach – I will play in the bowl game and then leave the team indefinitely.”

The presence of the term “drug policy” implies that it’s a violation of the substance-abuse policy. Under the current formulation of the substance-abuse policy, multiple violations precede the violation that results in a suspension.

“On the field, I must be do what needs to be done to continue to be an elite MML goblin,” Maxx said. “Off the field, I have tried that same approach in my personal life. My shortcomings in this area have taught me both that I cannot win these personal battles alone and that there is no shame in asking for help.”

Maxx is not alone however, the Grunts issued a similar statement on Monday stating that the Insufferable Miscreant would not have his contract renewed at the end of the season due to countless “warpstone abuse” related issues. Additionally, Slim Pickens, Start Troll of the MML and smoothie aficionado, will also be suspended for six-seasons from the Grunts roster for failure to adhere to his rehabilitation program.

These announcements make the team’s direction somewhat unknown. “Warpstone has brought us low,” said one inside official of the team. It also means that the Grunts salary cap was drastically reduced, allowing them flexibility in future roster moves.

The head coach of the Grunts was not available for comment.

“Preach has taken these events pretty hard,” said an assistant coach. “He is still the owner of the team, and the head coach – the lads support him and his decisions.”

Without a head coach, all of their star goblins and their star troll, the Grunts future is unknown. League officials have confirmed that the Grunts have lost their MML franchise bid for the upcoming season, leaving the city of New Orcland wanting. While the Grunts aren’t the only game in town, they where THE game in town for the past eight years.

New Orcland will recover and rebuild, but can the same be said for the Grunts?


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