Hairy and his nemesis !!!!

As the dust began to settle on Season 6 and the post season administration at the Thugz camp had concluded, Coach Hairy Warthog looked in his in tray on his desk to see what mail needed his attention. Divorce paperwork, fan mail, and bills. The usual crap. But one letter stood out from the rest. He recognized the wax seal straight away, it was the symbol of Dream Wild coached be the villainous Triperis whom the Thugz defeated in the last match of the season. He carefully opened the poisonous telegram from his nemesis. All that was written on the parchment in thick red letters was,

I Will Destroy You And Your Team 

Hairy chuckled to himself, “who is this weirdo who keeps making idle threats to me, I’ve got enough on my plate with Goblin Gambling on my back without him wasting my time”. His office door opened and Ajax who is part of the Against Goblin Gambling Rebel Organisation stepped in, “boss, word just come in on the fixtures for Season 7, we got Dream Wild again in the first match and we have reports he has been in talks with Goblin Gambling and that they may interfere in the match”. Hairy groaned, “don’t worry Boss”, interrupted Ajax, “we will deal with them whatever they have planned, may the f’Orc be with you”, he did a quick about turn and walked out. Hairy looked at the calender, “two weeks till game day” he thought to himself, “bring it on”! He snarled to himself and threw his knife he had in his boot at the calender.


Match Day. Dream Wild vs Thugz of Wheldrake

The Thugz arrived at the home of the Dream Wild, the first thing they noticed were the severed goats heads impaled on stakes outside the stadium and on the middle stake sat the head of a large bull. “Don’t worry about this psychological warfare lads, these are just the ex girlfriends of Triperis”, the initial shock of his players soon dispersed and they fell into fits of giggles. The match kicked off and the Thugz took and early lead, and looked like they were going to take another victory over Dream Mild…..I mean Wild. 😁 , when suddenly all the floodlights went off plunging the game into darkness. Hairy knew straight away that this was the work of Goblin Gambling!!! Ajax despatched his troops to find and torture ……I mean apprehend the saboteur! Triperis approached Hairy and smirked, ” oh dear, how did that happen!?” Hairy launched forward in an attempt to grab Trip by the throat, but quick as a flash Basebull Fury reached forward with his tentacles and dragged his coach back. Ajax came to Hairys side, “leave it boss, we’ve killed …….errrm, spoke to the culprit, and luckily we have board members here at the stadium, we can replay the match”.

Hairy begrudgingly agreed and his players once more took to the field to face Dream Mild……Errm Wild. He noticed his players seemed fatigued from the previous game and had lost their edge and knew that Goblin Gambling had succeeded in sabotaging his victory. His team surrendered possession of the ball in the game and Hairy’s hope of beating Dream Mild was being dashed! He quickly shouted instructions to his players, “don’t give his players an inch, hound them, pester them, hurt them and dismember them”! The Thugz did just that and denied Dream Mild what would have been a certain touchdown but the stupid human wasted too much time posing for the goblin cameraman on the sideline! The match ended in a 0-0 draw but both teams paid the price with some serious injuries inflicted on them. The beastman Smirnoff who had been trained as a blodger suffered another serious injury, he had played a few seasons with a serious concussion and picked up a fractured skull. Hairy decided that his playing days were over, he thanked him for his service with the Thugz after coach More Shots had released him and offered him a place on his coaching staff. A young beastman by the name of Must Destroy Trip offered his services for the Thugz. Hairy smiled, “I like your name kid, welcome aboard” As his players boarded the team bus to return home, Hairy noticed Ajax and Basebull Fury running towards the bus and laughing, they quickly boarded and the bus set off. Hairy called Ajax over and asked him what him and Basebull had been upto, Ajax contained himself and controlled his laughing, “Boss, Basebull has a dodgy stomach after eating that halfling at half time, he’s errrrm, left a present on Triperis’s desk”! Hairy looked at him quizzically then it dawned on him and he bent up double in fits of laughter. All he could picture was the look on Triperis’s when he saw the steaming pile of Minotaur poop on his desk!

“See ya next season Dream Mild, right lads get those crates of bloodweiser open and somebody find me a witch elf”!!


  1. Awesome story, Hairy! It was a match that was so good it had to be experienced twice. Love the way you have weaved everything into the story with a fun writing style. – The makings of a really fun rivalry is here! 🙂 – Great stuff!

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