Hissstory repeating…

The Green Tide Titans went down to a last turn TD by Lizard menace the Hissstory of Violence in a repeat of the Season 3 opener.

However this time the game was a lot more competitive. Summed up mainly as a game where one team couldn’t hit and the other couldn’t pick up the ball.


Titans had star transgender black orc, Louise in their starting line up after signing from the Ladyorcs in close season. It wasn’t long before she was in the thick of the action… The first block of the game saw Funbus taking a knap and reduced the orc line of scrimmage threat. The first couple of turns meandered by with the lizards looking for an opening and testing the Titans flexibility in defence. However one fumbled ball on the right hand side of the pitch gave the orcs the opportunity to muddy the waters and this they did. However after a couple of tumultuous rounds the ball ended up in the hands of Louise who found herself foolishly on the touchline. A quorum of Lizards introduced the newbie to the fans and she soon joined Funbus in the KO pit.

The first half ended up being a defensive success for the Titans even though they didn’t achieve the numbers advantage they would have hoped for. 0-0 it remained.

The 2nd half started off at a furious pace, Gorbag snatching the ball up and loitering in the back field looking for an opening… apparently didn’t see the storm clouds over head and succumbed to a lightning bolt to the face. This enabled one of the Lizards skinks to sneak through, kick him in the head, snatch up the ball and score a very satisfying TD for Coach Crow who was seen paying some kid with a scar on his forehead a lot of gold.

DANIEL RADCLIFFE as Harry Potter in Warner Bros. Pictures’ fantasy adventure “HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS – PART 2,” a Warner Bros. Pictures release.

However within 2 turns the scores were tied again at 1-1. The Titans making use of numbers and managing to squeak the ball through to Cliffard on the left wing to sneak in at the corner.

With 4 turns left both teams were keen to make the pressure pay, Violence started with the ball and kept one of their two remaining skinks away from the green nuisance. Rexxy the giant Krok saw a small opening in the line and took it, blitzing through to smash defensive screener Gorbag. This opened up the way for the skinks to follow through with the ball and their defensively skilled skink marking Gorbag.

Coach Thunden letting loose a stream of filth turned his back on the game and went to look for a goblin to take his frustration out. It appears he missed the last plays of the game as Gorbag made the dodge to blitz the skink in the far corner of the field and dislodge the ball. However it was all for naught as with the final play of the game and some typically naff block rolls the Titans failed to stop the skink from dodging through and finally getting the luck of the dice on pick up to close out the match 2-1 with a morale boosting win for the Lizards.

After the game, Coach Thunden was found very nearby the Hissstory of Violences team kart with a crowbar… swiftly dispensing of the item he proceeded to give us his thoughts on the match.

“$%@£ing Lizards!!!”

The Titans however have a swift opportunity to either bounce back immediately or effectively consign their season to the trash can. They face Norse bruisers the Solus Savers tonight in the Monday night Bashfest coming to a twitch near you at 8pm UK time / 2pm Central


By fair means or foul, foul, foul!!!!!