Historic First Victory for Hissstory of Violence

A late touchdown from Colours Jr wrapped up a 2-0 win for MML newcomers, Hissstory of Violence, in their home tie with last season’s semi finalists, The Green Tide Titans.

Following a somewhat successful season with a High Elf team, Remember the Tyrants, some were surprised to see their coach, Shane Crowley, move teams. Crowley explained that there was a mutual agreement reached between him and the board of directors at the Tyrants. He recalls, “I think we both felt that the team and I were pulling in different directions. We decided that parting ways would be in everybody’s best interests.”

Eyebrows were raised when it was announced that he would be taking over a relatively unknown Lizardman team, Hissstory of Violence. In a pre-season press conference, Crowley acknowledged that managing these cold blooded beasts would be a far cry from coaching a squad of arrogant High Elves but added that he relished the challenge.

Having drawn MML veterans, The Green Tide Titans, in their first game, few gave them a chance of emerging from week one with a win. Nuffle thought otherwise.

On a calm day in Jurassic Park, the Violence won the coin and elected to receive the ball in the first half. The lizards were soon reduced to 9 men (or should I say ‘lizardmen’?) as the hard hitting orcs knocked out one Saurus and almost killed another. Thankfully (or maybe unfortunately for some of the fans), the club apothecary managed to stabilise the casualty.

Following some back and forth, the lizards managed to get the ball deep into Titan territory. On turn 7, just a step away from the end zone, Rumplsnakeskin tripped. Snapper, the Titan thrower, seemed to have made a game winning tackle.

The ball bounced out of bounds and was kicked back onto the pitch by fans, landing inches away from the Titan end zone. When it seemed that all hope of a lizard touchdown was lost, up stepped a plucky young Skink. In an unlikely series of events, Salamence dodged away from his marker, sprinted towards the ball, picked it up, dodged another orc tackle and with his last gasp of energy, ran in to score his team’s first pro touchdown. What ever they had sacrificed to Nuffle prior to kick off must have been very pleasing to the benevolent deity!

The ball dropped close to midfield when the second half began. The Titans patiently moved forward, waiting for an opening to present itself. Having been matched up against a vastly superior opponent, the lizards were able to employ a wizard for the game. It proved to be a waste of gold as the lightning bolt had absolutely no affect on the orc Blitzer carrying the ball.

Following this failure the Titans surged forward, sensing that momentum was now in their favour. More than half way into opposition territory, with the end zone clearly in sight, Gorbag Marlarr found himself face to face with a Saurus and a Skink. He chose to blitz the skink and dart towards the promised land. Unfortunately, his block did not budge the Skink and he was forced to dodge away from the Saurus. A turnover ensued.

The lizards sprinted towards the Titan half with the ball but were unable to hold onto it. Once again, the ball was knocked out of bounds and once again it landed within spitting distance of the Titan end zone. Working in tandem, the Skinks ran towards the loose ball. One of them managed to secure the ball but on turn 16, just a step away from giving his team a 2-0 lead, he found himself marked by an orc Blitzer.

Croconaw the Saurus managed to push the orc out to the side, paving the way for a lizard touchdown.

Let there be no doubt that this was a massive upset, however Thunden and his team are tough and will look to bounce back as they face Doneagle’s Leaping Lizards this week.

Hissstory of Violence will try to stay grounded and attempt to temper expectations. They face fellow MML newcomers, Dark Elf team, Brutal Dodgy Sick Meanies.

Only one thing is certain, anything can happen in the MML. Praise Nuffle!

Hissstory of Violence vs Green Tide Titans