The first Reborn season was coming to a close and the results were above expectations. The International Genetics Dino Clones had overcome a play pool filled with experienced coaches, tough Orc teams, Elves, Chaos Dwarves and Underworld mutants to achieve a 3-3-1 result. Brilliant. But in the dark shadowy halls of the InGen HQ there was unrest, the results were good but the fans were leaving. The coach hadn’t been seen for weeks, locked away in his study and yelling that he must be left alone. The critics claimed the team was “mediocre”, “dull”, “uninteresting to watch” and “uninspired”. Lizard fans instead began going to watch the “Reptilian People” play in the pros and some even went to a “Karak Dragons” match expecting to see some dragons. They were so disappointed when they realised it was a Dwarf team they nearly quit watching Bloodbowl altogether, but they never made it out the stadium alive and it’s rumoured the Karak fans turned them into skink burgers.
But as the preparations for Reborn season 2 began in earnest there was a breakthrough. The team was waiting anxiously outside the coaches office when they were all given mysterious envelopes. The skinks opened theirs quickest, each contained a note with a single word scrawled upon it: “Stay”. The Kroxigor ate his envelope being too stupid to understand what it was, but the Saurus received an ominous message: “One of you Saurus must go …”
They turned on each other instantly, a flurry of teeth, claws and sharpened tails. Piling on and smashing the stone walls around them. The Skinks leapt behind Indominus Rex and watched on fearfully as the Saurus brutally fought each other until one finally succumbed. Battered and beaten Boa was eventually completely eaten by his team mates. The Skinks were horrified and it made Indominus Rex feel kinda hungry. Eventually, after a moment of stunned silence a Lizardman appeared with a clipboard: “I’m here to collect Boa he’s been transferred to the InGen site B team.” As he surveyed the scene of carnage and realised what had just happened he walked away checking his notes and muttering to himself “Envelopes were a stupid idea,” and “Should have given clear instruction…” Just then the door to Coach Wyatt’s study was flung open, he boldly stepped out and announced:
“Ok Dino Clones, for season 2 we are going into Full Apocalypse Mode!”
What is Full Apocalypse Mode?
There’s little to be said about the Lizardman playbook which hasn’t already been said. Get a Kroxigor, six Saurus and four Skinks. Create a single Skink god and fire the others that level to keep the team value low. Level the Saurus with block, mighty blow, tackle, pile on and so forth. Once complete overwhelm all opposition with positioning, control, brute strength and an impossible Skink scoring threat. Essentially grind the other team down and stall for the win if you have too. If you want to win the cabal vision champions ladder, this is route one for all good lizard coaches.
In fact this play style would probably be the easiest way to win the MML too. But there’s something about the MML which demands more from a team. For example when the Reborn season began coaches were discussing “Ironman” mode, and “Ultra Ironman” a way to increase the challenge by avoiding purchasing new players. It wasn’t just about creating a greater coaching challenge, it also makes the journey to eventual success more rich and dramatic. Each player on those teams has been forged with the pure fire of competitive league play, in the centre stage of bloodbowls most entertaining story – The MML. What’s more coaches still play Goblins, Halflings, Ogres and other races who have massive disadvantages and they do it for the sheer joy of it.
With this ethos in mind InGen will be returning for the next season of MML Reborn in Full Apocalypse Mode. InGen Dino Clones began the season with six Saurus but no Kroxigor (An exact clone of ‘InGen Apocalypse’) then we sacked one Saurus and hired a Kroxigor. We have increased our Skink swarm and now we have made the final step in the transition, sacking the fifth Saurus. We will field one Kroxigor, four Saurus and six Skinks. We will never fire an Injured Skink and will keep a bench of skinks when we can. We pursue a strategy of adapt or die, score fast and die faster!
P.S. Skink burgers are on us!