JUST SCORE reviews the Thugz of Wheldrake! !!!!

JUST SCORE magazine here with another team profile!!!!!!!!!                               We now take a look at one of the lower tier PRO teams who have been doing the rounds since season 2, the Thugs of Wheldrake. Coached by the Jekyll  and Hyde character type coach Hairy-Warthog Warthog who one moment can be heard shouting and screaming on the Twitch airwaves and getting record viewing figures and the next moment in the pit of despair, walking out on the team and talking of resigning! A real up and down character and like somebody once quoted about a box of chocolates,  you never know what you’re gonna get!!!

So what do we know about the team? Well, they play at the Black Stronghold which has a lovely astronomy granite pitch to play on, and as we mentioned before joined the MML in season 2 where their first win came against the human team The Gottleib Gladiators  (whatever happened to those guys?) Their second win again came at the cost of the Gladiators the following season. Season 4 left the Thugz missing the registration due to their coaches personal issues and playing some matches in the Challenge League where they recorded another win against the norse outfit Orang3 Ag3nuts and returned to the Pros shortly afterwards and didn’t pick up another window till they played Dream Wild in the season just gone which saved them from relegation. Although the team record says 3 wins, if look back at their history it’s 4, not the most successful of teams! So let’s look at the who’s who at the Thugz camp.

BASEBULL FURY                                                                                               Minotaur. Tentacles, Juggernaut, Guard.

The star attraction. When this boy wants to play he can have a devastating effect on opposing teams, whether it’s his explosive blitz ripping holes in armour or his rather disturbing Tentacles grabbing hold of struggling players! His downfall? He’s still very wild and just bellows when asked to do something. Point to note. He does have a fear of mice and other rodents!

McMASTERS                                                                                                           Chaos Warrior. Mighty Blow, Leader,  Block.

A recent signing from our old friend More Shots, (who the Thugz will face this season). Although a formidable player who in his 7 matches for the Thugz has become a fan favourite through his hard hitting blitzing and blocking. He lays claim to killing the Leaping Lizards saurus Wade, although he was only dead four 4 seconds till the apothecary brought him back to the land of the living but did leave the player with a serious concussion.                                          Point to note, this player had a former career as a drag queen and often takes to the field in full make up.

AOS AQHYAH UGU’YOU                                                                                       Chaos Warrior. Block, Claw, Guard.

Part of the original roster at the Thugz. Hasn’t had much opportunity to put his claws to good use this season with all the elf teams he had to face, he couldn’t catch them!! He hopes this coming season will be a different story.                      Point to note. He was a child actor and appeared in episodes of Orc and Mindy and The Golden Ghouls.

THE DAL’SHIN BROTHERS. REAPWARP AND BRUTESINEW                          Chaos Warriors. R – Diving Tackle, Block, Dodge.                                                                                     B – Block, Guard, Mighty Blow

Twin brothers who have been at the club since it formed. Reapwarp is quite not what you’d expect from a chaos Warrior,  possessing the abilities more likely to be seen on an elf! Many times he has stopped the opposing team from scoring a touchdown with his diving tackles. Brutesinew is more what you’d expect from a chaos Warrior,  strong, mean and ugly.                                    Point to note. Reapwarp holds the record for most wardancers violated with a pineapple in a hour. Brutesinew spends time in his garden and produces rare flowers which are distributed across the world.

FRIZNY BEARD                                                                                                                 Beastman. Horns, Block, Prehensile Tail, AG+1.

Another member of the old boys club, he got the MVP in the Thugz first ever match against The Cheese Stands Alone. Initially Frizny just spent of of his matches as a no thrills player, marking up players and blitzing wear he could. He mutated a tail to try and entrap his opponents with but he hasn’t been much good at it really! His extra work in the gym paid off and he has made himself a name as a nominated ball carrier in the squad.                                         Point to note. Frizny likes to take time out and do charity work for the WWF. (Wounding Wardancers Fun).

SLOUKLY MANTLE                                                                                           Beastman. Horns. Extra Arms. Block. Two heads.

Nicknamed “The Freak” for obvious reasons. An old timer at the club and has played many matches. Again one of the two nominated ball carriers in the team and one of the most experienced. Can quite often be seen arguing with himself and looking at PlayGoat magazine.                                                                 Point to note. The actress Pamela Ramderson has a restraining order put on this player after he sat hidden in her garden watching for 5 months.

CRALY MANTLE.                                                                                               Beastman. Horns, Mighty Blow, Block, Claws.

Many Thugz fans have this name on their shirts and has finished high up in the leagues biggest injury causes!  A bit of a maverick on the team who doesn’t mix well with others. Can often be seen arguing with his teammates, his coach, the cheerleaders, the security staff, the apothecary, the assistant coaches, the mascot, and his own reflection.                                                         Point to note. Craly wasn’t hugged enough by his mother.

That’s just the big names in the Thugz camp folks. The rest of the roster lines up with Pay Mane, Smirnoff, and Wirey Pelt. No new signings this coming season but I have it on good authority that there are some up and coming players in coach Warthogs farm teams and judging on the teams in the conference next season……….there will be blood!!!

Join us soon when we take a look at another team!!!


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