It was a very sunny day as the boat Coach Jiggs was on pulled into the docks. You could taste the salt in the air, Coach Jiggs paid the ferryman and grabbed his things. As he walked off the boat he seen the most imposing island fortress he’d ever seen. The size of this place reminded him of his days back in Brettonia serving as one of the fortress guards in the Brettonian army. “Orcatraz, Well off to my destiny.” As he approached the entrance, he seen two giant troll guards….
“YOU DERE… WHATCHA DOIN SKULKING ABOUT FOR… WE AIN’T GOT NUFFIN ON DA LIST…. VISITING HOURS IS NEVER SO JUST GET THE F’ORC OUDDA ERE… FER YA GIT YOURSELF URT.” Coach Jiggs approaches the guards with his letter from G.B.A.T. in hand. “FELLA’S no need for such harsh words. In my hand here I hold a letter from the Guild. I was invited so take it down a notch there Tiger. I just so happened to arrive a bit early, and was wondering where I could rest with my things.” The troll guard snatched the letter from Coach Jiggs’ hand. ” YA FINK DIS LETTER ERE WILL GIT YA INSIDE DO YA? FER A HUMAN YA AIN’T TO BRIGHT ARE YA. EVR’YBODY KNOWS TROLLS DON’T READ!!! LEMME GIT ONE OF THO’S MESSENGER GOBBO’S TO FIND OUT IF DIS IS REAL… CAUSE IF IT AIN’T I’M GONNA HAVE YANCEY ERE TAKE YA FER A WALK IF YA KNOW WHAT I MEAN. The Troll rings a bell and moments later a small gobbo pops out of a small door in the much larger door. The troll leans down, gives the small gobbo the letter as he whispers something to him. The small gobbo disappears thru the gobbo door. ” YA BETTER OPE WE GIT DA RIGHT RESPONSE OR DATS DE END FER YA BUSTA.” About 45mins of awkward stares and bad troll jokes about ripping Coach Jiggs apart and eating him had passed.
The giant gates start to open and Coach Jiggs gets off the rock he was waiting on. An orc in a suit, fedora, and a giant scar down his face emerges ” COACH JIGGS!!! I didn’t expect to see you fer a day or two buddy. How was da trip? I’m OR’Capone da head of Orcatraz’s rehabilitation programs, and da Orcatraz guild liaison. The guild has called you here for dis meeting wit me for a few reasons. The first is because we know you had an awful season wit dat lizardman team. The second is dat we know you have potential as a coach. The third and final reason is dat me being da genius business man that I am, came up wit da greatest money making idea ever. You are goin to coach an all inmate team from Iron City the under ground ironworks here at Orcatraz. Ya see da prison funds it as a rehabilitation so you and me both get paid. The field and stadium was built on prison money, with da help of a nice guild contribution. So to make a long story short da players get a bit of freedom, most are guild members caught up in da system. They play for free, you me and the guild all cash in, after the prisons cut It’s all profit. So let me show ya your room and your office, then we will go down to da stadium Iron City Arena and see whatcha think? Here’s your room and across da hall is your office, make yourself at home I got a meeting wit da warden in a few. I’ll be back fer ya when i’m done wit dat alright. See ya soon.”
Coach Jiggs puts his personal stuff in his room all but one framed photo of him and the Monitors on the field before their first game in the MML. “This is going on my office wall as a reminder of where I came from.” Coach Jiggs takes the picture and rummages threw his dufflebag.” As he pulls out his trusty playbook. Coach Jiggs Heads to his office throws his playbook on the desk and hangs the picture on an old nail from the last guy who had this office. “Perfect will just have to make some proper revisions to the old playbook and i’ll be all set.” Just then in walks OR’Capone ” KNOCK, KNOCK… Bout ready to hit the stadium and meet da boyz coach?” “Can’t wait to get back on the field OR’Capone.” “Well come on coach and by the way… Just call me Scarface. OR’Capone sounds to official, Scarface is what my friends call me.” ” Ok Scarface… then lead the way friend.”
As the two Gent’s near the stadium OR’Capone says ” Coach you will be relieved dat our state of da art facility has some of da best security around. It’s impossible to get a rock thru our rock detectors and passed our guards. We also have a squig sandwich stand so da crowd don’t get quite as ornery.” ” Sounds too good to be true Scareface. I didn’t have all these bells and whistles at my last stadium.” ” Well you didn’t have me on your side either coach. We’re here Iron City Arena whatcha think coach?” Coach Jiggs Looks around and see’s a team of Orc’s playing a Scrimmage against some helpless goblins. A blitzer rushes a gobbo knocks him clean off the pitch and continues into the endzone, as the thrower breaks right out of a black orc cage and throws a beautiful pass for a td… CLAP…CLAP….CLAP ” THAT’S GREAT BOYS, BUT WHAT HAPPENS WHEN WE PLAY AN ACTUAL TEAM…” Coach Jiggs interrupts the game as him and OR’Capone walk down from the stands to the field.
“This here boyz is da coach I’ve been telling ya about… He just arrived today so don’t give him any guff or you’ll be feedin dem fires instead of playin ball… GOT IT…” The thrower on the team responds as they all nod ” You bet Scarface, you know we are here to play by the rules.” OR’Capone turns to Coach Jiggs. “Coach Meet da Iron City Orc Boyz. Wearing #1 is our Big Guy Rusty Iron Jaws he’s actually well read for a troll 132 books, mostly picture books but books is books. He’s in Orcatraz fer life as a pup he murdered his whole family.Then he ate them. Not the brightest player on da team, but he’s good at mashing fools. Wearing #8 Is da teams Thrower and team leader Mike “Dog Fighter” Vicce and no he doesn’t fight dogs… He’s in for 10 to 15yrs for getting his guild sanctioned dog fighting ring broken up. Mike used to be a Pro Thrower in an all orc league. He played fer da Orclanta Falcons. After he got sentenced Mike came to me to see if there was anything I could do. That’s when I came up with this great idea.” Coach Jiggs responds ” I’ve heard of this fiasco and Mike Vicce he was very talented but he was also a bad boy who wasn’t much of a team player” OR’Capone says ” I’ve taken care of all that nonsense he had going on by letting him play. I have full control over his future and if he’ll ever git out of Orcatraz. so no worries there coach…”
“Next is our 4 Black Orcs who were all bodyguards of Vicce in his dog fighting ring they aren’t the most knowledgable about da game but they can smash some ‘eads. They also are a very loyal bunch and will protect Vicce wit their own lives. Wearing #2 is Gorfang Smash’Hammer the lead enforcer. He actually played ball with Vicce in skool. So he has basic game smarts. Next wearing #3 Vicce’s own uncle who helped him start the dog fighting ring Uncle Ruckus. Uncle Ruckus’s son Dee Bo wears the #5 and is just a big ole boy ready to git some punches in. Wearing da #4 is Known Gang banger and enforcer for Vicce. Tone “Lover Boy” L’Orc he also had a few hit singles rapping in his early years.. Funky Cold Medina, And Wylde Thang. Now he’s ready to give his all fer our team.”
” We also have 3 Blitzers our star blitzer wearing the #6 is the one you seen catching that pass… Rocky “Da Brik” Danger He’s in here on Orcaine Charges 10 yrs fer possession and 10yrs fer intent to distribute. Rocky was a stunt man you name it he did it. He’s best known for da stunt where he knocked out 10 elves wit 1 brik. Next is another heavy hitter wearing #7 Orc named “Sue” he’s in here fer life. Fer killing is old man fer naming him Sue. I don’t blame him. Then we have the self proclaimed Ignatious Da Great wearing #12. he has some serious reality issues. He swears he is some great general fighting some holy war. no one knows his real name, but he’s got a life sentence for mauling people in a crowded market in da name of god while screaming DEUS VULT. He killed 13 humans before they took him down. It took 7 armed black orc guards to do it.”
” Our 2 Line man Tooth Pick wearing #9 and Ice Pick #10 they are in here for robbing armed karts got away wit 50 heists before they were set up by Goblin Gambling. They are both doing a dime fer their crimes… Last on our list is Fred “Fingers” Goblowski #11 he’s in here fer everything from pickpocketing, fraud, hit an run to stealing candy from babies… he’s in fer 17yrs. Always keep an eye on your coin pouch around this sneeky lil bugger. Well there ya have it coach all yours to mold into a lean green fighting machine…” Coach Jiggs replies ” It’s nice to meet you all today. It’s a new beginning for all of us. We were all cast out of our comfort zone, into this hellish place against our will. The only thing we can do is fight and never give up. We are all degenerates and down trodden. We will be looked down upon and laughed at by other coaches and teams… this matters not if we win. We already have lost in life, this is our second chance to prove everyone wrong who said you would amount to nothing. Are you all gonna blow your chance to be at the top to create your own destiny. The mighty phoenix has to burn out and die to be reborn. We lived fast and burned up, now lets be reborn together!!!! Lets show the MML the new flame that burns bright, and let them hear our roars of victory, because the Iron City Orc Boyz have arrived!!!!!” The team ” RRRRROOOOAAAAHHHH”
OR’Capone says ” I think they like you… I also think dis is the beginning of a beautiful relationship, happy to be working wit ya coach.” ” Agreed… If you can keep them in line… I’ll teach them how to play Blood Bowl MML style….” With that the 2 unlikely friends stand on the soon to be field of battle. Watching the sun go down as their team is running around beating and kicking a tattered team of goblins….
TOO BE CONTINUED……