More_ Shots Week 8 Pregame Press Conference
Transcript for 3-7-16 Press Conference
More_Shots: Last game of the regular season coming up this week. We are hoping to get our players health and ready for a bowl game. We would like to get a win this week to keep the option of getting a share of the Death Valley Conference Championship. We have been praying all weekend that The Green Tide Titans will somehow lose this week. I will now field a few questions.
Reporter #1: Early reports show that Horny Siragusa will miss this week’s game. Can you confirm this?
More_Shots: Not you again? Are you here to piss me off like last time. It’s like I told you last time “We are following ALL current rules of the league … to my knowledge.” We aren’t having players fake injuries to gain a tactical advantage. Next question!
Reporter #2: Last week your players refused to score for several turns. They stopped on the goal line and just stood there and let the clock run out. Can you explain what happened and what do you have to say for yourself?
More_Shots: Mistakes were made. The game was really early in the morning for us. We had a 15 hour time difference and I didn’t prepare properly for the match. So, we took the ball up the field and had a sure touchdown… I turn around to grab a fresh cold Bloodweiser from the ice chest and it turns out that the equipment manager didn’t restock the beer. So, in keeping with my promise to fans, I left. I when to the beer stand and got a couple of tall Bloodweisers. I was drinking and talking with some fans and the next thing you know I hear our hometown fans going crazy. I assumed that the players finally got around to scoring that TD. Imagine my surprise when I got to the locker room to find out that we didn’t score.
Reporter #1: So, left the sideline to get beer? You can’t do that! You are the coach… they pay you to coach the team!
More_Shots: Look, if Bill COWher sees me on the sideline without a drink in my hand he will KILL me. I’m talking FULL Horned…Frenzy…Mighty Blow… Pill On… MURDER ME! My mistake wasn’t leaving to get beer…my mistake was not counting how many beers we had in the ice chest before the game… you know. Make sure it’s full. If that cooler was full we might have scored 2 or 3 TD’s. I had to make a second quick trip in the second half for a beer. Can we take about next week. Talking about last week’s game is hurting my buzz.
Reporter #3: The Quelaag’s Khorne Flakes are 1 of only 2 Bretonnian teams in the league. Do you have a specific game plan for such a strange and specialized set of players?
More_Shots: What’s a Bright-on-I-on? Look we are gonna play our game. Maybe kill a player or two and drink a few beers. We made playoffs and that was our #1 goal for the year.
Reporter #2: Speaking of playoffs. Do you have any preference on what team you will play in your bowl game?
More_Shots: Would be fun to kill some elves or rats… a team like Mauz or Treehawks. I would be open to a rematch with the Lizards or GT Titans. At the end of the day that’s for the MML to figure out. My beer is running low I’ll see your guys next week. I gotta hit the beer stand.