Open Letter from More_Shots to Fans

Dear fans of BCPH,

I have dishonored myself, the owners and my players with my poor judgment. I was severely hungover during Mondays game against the Leaping Lizards. I was blurry eyed and had a splitting headache. I went overboard in my celebration of our week 4 win and almost missed the first half. My players listened to my commands and trusted me… and I failed them. Under the advisement of upper management I will be relocated down to farm games for the rest of the week while I work on my drinking issues. I had a long meeting with Bill COWher himself and he has informed me that if he every sees me that sober again I will immediately be fired. He said … and I quote “We didn’t hire you to be some wimpy elf coach! You are here to me the most fearless and crazy coach around. I need you drunk and angry for every game. Not a little buzzed and for sure not hungover!” I promise to you, the fans of Bill COWher Power Hour, I will be that coach that our proud owner asks me to be. I will be drunker, crazier, and meaner that any coach this league has ever seen. I promise you MORE violent blocks, MORE surfed enemies, MORE crushing fouls. We WILL be feared. We WILL be respected. We WILL be DRUNK!!!