Pappas Brand New(ish) Bag!

This post is part of the series The Ballad of Green Day

Other posts in this series:

  1. Pappas Brand New(ish) Bag! (Current)
  2. Green Days…
  3. Yesterday’s Rotter…

Team Name                       : Weeping Widowmakers

Origin                                  : Spawned from the priests of Nurgle, a mysterious benefactor snared well known Green Tide Titans coach, Thunden, and persuaded him to take up the reins of the freshly cobbled together nurgle team. Joining the ranks with 3 other well respected coaches the Widowmakers won their conference and were promoted as losing semi finalists. A feeling they would experience yet again in their first season in the Pros, winning the DVC conference but ultimately falling to that years champions, the Harrelsons.

MML Seasons                    : S6, S7

Honours                              : CPR Champions S7, CL Semi Finalists

DVC Champions S8, Pro Semi Finalists

Homeground                     : Brixton Academy

Motto                                 : Got a bad feeling about this…

Squad :


DEAD ZEPPELIN                               Drafted into the Widowmakers in Season 7 as a rookie, he has struggled to make his mark on the team. Normally working in conjunction with one of his Rotter minders, he fears for his place in Coach Thundens team. Probably the player most under pressure this season. Difficult times for the single parent family as he has 5 young beastlings at home.

FAITH NO MORE                              The old man of the team. Rumour has it that he used to be a Chaos Warrior before pledging his allegiance to Pappa Nurgle. Very much the fulcrum of the team, doesn’t speak a lot but when he does it’s normally to ask for sustenance. Defensive coordinator.


TERRORVISION                                The spoilt brat of the group. Only happy when he’s out causing carnage, has no idea of his own strength. Outrageous fashion sense has seen him adopt a host of gothic jewellery including some ridiculously outlandish rings that could be mistaken for knives. First one to the bar, last one to dip into his wallet.


ASH                                                    Hopelessly optimistic. Also takes care of all the team stats, tries to present to the coach on a weekly basis to highlight where he’s improved with the amount of yards travelled, opponents blocked per game etc… Yet to endear himself to the team who think he’s a bit of a crawler. Does have a hot Nurgle priestess wife though so is allowed to the team bbq.


SKUNK ANANSIE                              Shocking levels of personal hygiene even in this motley crew. Definitely the most likely to be suggested to get the only single room on tour. However this damaging first impression belies a tender soul who wants nothing more than to see his team mates thrive and do well. Willingly puts himself on the line for the benefit of the Pestigors who he would dearly love to emulate. Needs to focus on the basics rather than training with the pestis.


STONED TEMPLE PILOT                 Attack coordinator. The brains of the outfit. During his time in the plague armies, he captured 4 elven Bloodbowl players from a reasonably large city near the Forest of Loren. Became obsessed with the game and how elves managed their intricate plays, spent years torturing these wood elves to unlock their secrets. Also knows how to make a mean Silvanesti cheesecake.


SABBATH                                           The up and coming superstar. Massive rivalry with Stoned Temple Pilot, their internal fued has scuppered a number of touchdowns for the team and is one of Coach Thundens main troubles for S9. Can he get them to work better together? If he can and if he can meld them with the newbie then just maybe they can emulate the more elfy teams in the league. Bit of an ego. Doesn’t share his HariBO.


RANK BRUNO                                   Just transferred in from the Cockney Contagions, from the same team as Cowboys favourite, Mad Frankie Fraser. He hopes to make as big an impact in the pros however in a different way. The all time leading scorer for the Contagions, big things are expected of Rank but how will he fit in with the power plays in the pestigor back line? Famous for saying, “Know what I mean… Terry!” – has been taken under the wing of team hardman, Terrorvision.


SMASHING PUMPKIN                     Transferred in from Rott & Roll at the start of S8 with the intent to learn everything he could from team stalwart STONED ROSES… They worked well together, the old pestigor becoming a sage and venerable instructor to the young Pumpkin. Making their own training camps outside of the regular season they trained to an almost Zen like level… this was all sadly ruined when Roses was first injured and then killed in Season 8. Since then the affable Pumpkin has been morose and filled with a deep desire for vengeance, even the cheesecakes have been unable to lift his spirits, much to the dismay of Stoned Temple Pilot.


GREEN DAY                                       One of the original Born To Rott pack! The body is more than a little dinged up but this wee blight ridden dude is still rolling into S9. The practical joker of the group he has been known to upset his larger colleagues, almost dying in S8 as he attempted to electrocute the Pestigors but neglected the conductivity of his own puss. Seemingly with no desire to have an extended playing career he looks for the first opportunity to take a serious injury and his long term rotter payout.


SOUNDGARDEN                               Rookie drafterd in near the end of Season 8 after the loss of Stoned Roses. Has yet to make a real impact in the team, but has been useful for carrying the BBQ and the cake mix.


PEARL JIM                                         One season Rotter veteran, never stops letting everyone know that he scored a touchdown in the successful promotion season in the Challenge Leaguel. Sometimes known as Jeremy, also lets everyone know he is Alive at frequent points. Has no desire to be a Better Man and promotes a state of Love and Trust.


RAGE AGAINST THE ROT               Frik you he won’t do what you tell him! This includes successful blocks, passes, catches or making that extra couple of metres on a sprint.




Continue reading this series:


  1. Comedy Gold in the players section… can’t wait to see them take another step forward. I’m not saying how far forward due to avoiding putting and mockers on them.

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