PRO-Fiteroles

Two successful seasons in the lower divisions of the Mead & Mayhem league, mixed results but any seasons with wins in are good seasons for short fat slow weak useless puddles of mush. The success went to Eddie’s head, that and the copious volumes of kibble he’d been consuming. The club was in big financial feces. Eddie had taken out further loans to feed gambling habits and tins of gelatin covered grade H meat substitute like flesh produced from the milk of Nurgle Pestigors that made Eddie puke… problem was these days he liked lapping up puke. Altdorf knew Eddie could never repay the debts, he wasn’t reliable enough, and you just couldn’t earn enough in the lower leagues.

So with a full sack donning a swag symbol on it and some very greasy palms the bank had a plan that would see them recoup a better return from the Sackville Elevenses and quite probably ensure the fatal demise of Mr Smeagol, Altdorf got the Elevenses promoted to the PROS!

This was a far more dangerous place for a relatively inexperienced Halfling team. Big scary seasoned brutes played at this level and although the opening fixture was a Lizardman team they’d played before (InGen Dino Clones), they were a better outfit with a season in the pros behind them. Fast as lightning from the kick offs catching the tardy lardy hobbits big flat feet the lizards blitzed again, and again. Strong, fast, relentless; a 4-0 drubbing and a very big wake up call for the half pints. This could be a hard season.

Much improved on the defensive front as they only conceded 3 touchdowns from the next two games and slightly improved on the attacking front too scoring their first of the season but two narrow losses are losses nonetheless, 2-1 to the Galadrial Reakers who scored a very late winner, and 1-0 to the Amazonican Pumas.

The team were steadily improving and Eddie was still not dead, the next match was a turning point for their season. It was the Undead team The Cadaver Robbers, the sugary little flings put up a hell of a fight, losing the first half 1-0, but coming back early in the second half with a tossing equaliser. After kicking to the Robbers entering the third quarter of the match and losing some ground early on, the Sackville’s managed a sack and looked as if they could potentially break away and secure the win, if it weren’t for a trip, a flesh golem dodged and collected the ball… and threw! No one was sure they could do that, weren’t their shoulders all rotten and manky, how’d they get the speed into their arms? And a Wight caught it in the endzone right on the whistle. A fourth straight loss, but agonisingly close to their first points of the season. It set a fire in their pot bellied stoves.

This rage and anguish was unleashed in full force the next game vs The Undertopia Undesirables, the Hobbits had to travel underground for this fixture, out east. They were having a poor season themselves and this was a bit of a relegation 6 pointer. The Flings fought with all their hearty breakfast lust and decimated the rats and goblins, winning the game 2-1, illuminating the faint light at the end of the long, dark tunnel back to the surface.

Another team the Elevenses had faced before, the Grimbeards. Hard, strong, vicious, bastards, Dwarfs. The ball kept rolling for the ‘flings, a dubskull here, a distraction from the chefs cooking there and a wizard bolt out of the blue stopped the dwarven drive. A hard earned 1-0 victory, and 2 wins all but made the season safe, they would remain in the PROS, regardless of the last result. Naturally, with the pressure off and safety secured, the little bloaters ceased their athletic diet plans and increased the meal plans to twelve three course banquets a day, inevitibly they lost the final game 2-0 to the Midward Isle Mongooses. Never mind eh?

Eddie was tired, bruised and had accumulated one too many crippling injuries in his time as player coach, he was very lucky not to have been assassinated off the field by the blade of a dark elf or gutter runner assassin hired by Altdorf. At the end of the Season, he decided to hang up his war pan, he devote his full attention to coaching the Elevenses. Gravy Jones became the new captain for his superb speed and touchdown scoring prowess of 12 in 24 games.

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