Return of the Warthog and The AGGRO strikes back

Whilst burning the bodies of some industrial cleaners Hairy Warthog had hired to clean up the disease infested Nurgle village, (they had all died of a number of diseases) he discovered on the body of a goblin a note pad and a crystal ball. On flicking through the pad he discovered numerous notes had been made about himself and his whereabouts and the crystal ball was stamped on the bottom “IF LOST RETURN TO GOBLIN GAMBLING”. Realising that this toilet cleaner was in fact an undercover agent of Goblin Gambling Hairy started to panic, believing that GG now knew his whereabouts he started to pack his things. As he was cramming some food, water and the Wardancer head he had been given by Santa Shots into his backpack he heard a commotion outside. He cautiously peered out from the doorway of his hut.

A small army of individuals had amassed in the centre of the village and we’re doing some hut to hut searching, fearing the worse Hairy stripped off his clothes and pulled on the fishnet stockings, thigh high boots, leather hot pants and matching top of the witch elf who had visited him at Christmas, (since died. R.I.P.), he grabbed some thatch from the roof and placed it on his head to look like long hair. As he turned around to make his escape he saw two individuals stood in the doorway of his hut.

“Errrrrrm, coach Warthog? Is that you? I hope we are not interrupting anything important but we have come to collect you and take you back” said the short fat stranger on the left.

“No chance”! Warthog shouted, “You’ll never take me alive Goblin Gambling”! And made a run for the exit but was stopped by the hulking frame of a Minotaur who pushed him to the floor. “Mr Warthog, let me explain and apologise for your rough treatment, I am Ajax, I am from the Against Goblin Gambling Rebel Organisation or A.G.G.R.O. for short, we are here to protect you and right now The Thugz need you”. Hairy looked at Ajax and his horny companion and tried to way everything up, “The Thugz need me”? He said aloud to himself knowing they faced relegation and it was their final match of the season, “OK, let’s go and quickly, I’ve been lucky not to contract any diseases yet but when I go to the toilet it’s like mustard coming out of my backside”!

Ajax assured him that he would be given a full health check once safely on the mainland but after they had dropped him off at the Black Stronghold to coach the Thugz match against Dream Wild.

As it happens, the Thugz won the game and avoided being relegated, Hairy felt content at being back home with The Thugz and even more content that he knew now he had around the clock protection and ground security provided by A.G.G.R.O. for match days.

The A.G.G.R.O. guerillas came up to Hairy Warthogs office after the game and congratulated him on the match result,

“Congratulations Infamous Hairy Warthog, it’s good to have you back”, started Ajax, “Don’t worry about a thing from now on, even if you can’t see us, we are still here, we will not let you down”. Ajax threw up his right hand in a fist salute, “May the F’orc be with you”, and then, he was gone with the rest of his team.

Hairy smiled, first time he had smiled for a while and thought to himself “it is good to be back”. He got out from behind his desk, removed his thigh high boots, hot pants and top combo, was halfway through pulling the stockings down, smiled again, shook his head, pulled the stockings back up and put on his Thugz of Wheldrake tracksuit before joining his team at the bar.


Join the Conversation