Your players have worked hard all year, while you’ve taken all the credit. Time to put some respek on their names!
BEST SCORER
Conor McGregor, of Los Pumas, was a touchdown MACHINE this season. His 11 scores are 3 more than last year’s scoring leader, Juken’, of the Skuttle Butts, managed in a longer 8 game regular season.
Conference Leaders
Sword Coast Conference: Conor McGregor (10), of Los Pumas; Runner-Up: Han Tavirus (8), of Rodentia Ad Nauseam
Wicked Forest Conference: Tom (9), of Praag no5 team; Runner-Up: Grimkrin (5), of Granite City Grimbeards
Wasteland Athletic Conference: Altonanna (8), of Leaf Dancers; Runners-Up: Belarimar (3), of Leaf Dancers; and Ricky (3), of Leaping Lizard
Death Valley Conference: Gorbag Marlarr (7), of The Green Tide Titans; Runner-Up: Banlaen (6), of The Blitzkriegers
First 4: Zarlara (6), of Seathiel Treehawks; Runners-Up: Zeshuir (4), of Seathiel Treehawks; and Savage Sal (4), of Norse Leap til Brooklyn
Iron League: Rotnail (5), of Wrecking kru; Runners-Up: Tra-tigors (3), of Innsmouth Deep Ones; Gutrad (3), of Wrecking kru; and Greased Up Deaf Guy (3), of Stop Rolling Ones!!!
Noble South Conference: Butterhands Fumblecatch (4), of Thee Grandiose Gladiators; and Rhasscaeon Aldaloth (4), of Thee Grandiose Gladiators
Dungeon West: Suiônduil “Eccentric” (4) & Horthien “Tenacity,” of Dignity; Godefroy d’Artois (4), of Mousillon Morningstars; and Jerkin’ James Whitcroft (4), of Just Norsin’ Around
BEST RUSHER
Juken’s rushing record of 420 yards, accomplished over 8 games last season, was broken by the underrated dwarf runner, Tom, of Praag no5 team, who rumbled for 440 yards in just 7 games!
Conference Leaders
WFC: Tom (440), of Praag no5 team; Runner-Up: Grimkrin (262), of Granite City Grimbeards
DVC: Gorbag Marlarr (400), of The Green Tide Titans; Runner-Up: Marquis (260), of Solus savers
WAC: Belarimar (366), of Leaf Dancers; Runner-Up: Ricky (214), of Leaping Lizard
SCC: Conor McGregor (336), of Los Pumas; Runner-Up: Han Tavirus (226), of Rodentia Ad Nauseam
IL: Rotnail (336), of Wrecking kru; Runner-Up: Odell BeckRAM Jr. (262), of Bill COWher Power Hour
NSC: Nimphenien Aladanae (280), of Thee Grandiose Gladiators; Runner-Up: Stagg jr. (150), of The Kentucky Bourbons
DW: Leeroy Jenkins (232), of New Orcland Grunts; Runner-Up: Therranduil “Royalty” (190), of Dignity
F4: Savage Sal (220), of Norse Leap til Brooklyn; Runner-Up: Peregrine (194), of Seathiel Treehawks
BEST THROWER
With 236 yards passing, Tharranduil “Royalty,” of Dignity, almost doubled S3’s high mark of 126 yards!
Conference Leaders
DW: Tharranduil “Royalty” (236), of Dignity; Runner-Up: Jerkin’ James Whitcroft (38), of Just Norsin’ Around
NSC: Nimphenien Aladanae (160), of Thee Grandiose Gladiators; Runners-Up: Eagle Rare, of The Kentucky Bourbons (14); and Shadow (14) & Ferenc da Hungarian (14) of Champions of Valhalla
DVC: Lildhil (98), of The Blitzkriegers; Runner-Up: Umbean(58), of The Blitzkriegers
F4: Peregrine (92), of Seathiel Treehawks; Runner-Up: Zeshuir (18) of Seathiel Treehawks
IL: Bentard The 2nd, of Stop Rolling Ones!!! (86); Runner-Up: Odell BeckRAM Jr. (68), of Bill COWher Power Hour
SCC: Gorkaf (84), of Da Green Fist; Runner-Up: Alaric Frej (48), of Los Pumas
WFC: Amalost (60), of White Owlz; Runner-Up: Mylm’nor (38) of White Owlz
WAC: Belarimar (34), of Leaf Dancers; Runner-Up: Nadanfel (12), of Leaf Dancers
BEST RECEIVER
Rhasscaeon Aldaloth, of Thee Grandiose Gladiators, repeats as co-winner of this category, with the same number of catches, 6, as last season (in 1 less game), but this time he is joined by a more friendly co-winner: his teammate, Butterhands Fumblecatch. The best receiving corps in the MML officially belongs to the Gladiators.
Conference Leaders
NSC: Butterhands Fumblecatch (6) & Rhasscaeon Aldaloth (6), of Thee Grandiose Gladiators
DVC: Banlaen (5), of The Blitzkriegers; Runner-Up: Talmael (4), of The Blitzkriegers
IL: Greased Up Deaf Guy (5), of Stop Rolling Ones!!!; Runners-Up: Tra-tigors (2) & Matt (2), of Innsmouth Deep Ones; Gutrad (2), of Wrecking kru; and RAM Chancellor (2), Stephen Goatkowski (2) & Bill RAManowski (2), of Bill COWher Power Hour
WAC: Belarimar (4), of Leaf Dancers; Runner-Up: Nadanfel (3), of Leaf Dancers
WFC: Sornyrd (4), of White Owlz; Runners-Up: Tom (3), of Praag no5 team; and NTB (3), of White Owlz
SCC: Han Tavirus (4), of Rodentia Ad Nauseam; and Hans Lamprecht (4), of Los Pumas
F4: Zeshuir (3), Haliastur (3), and Altontor (3), of Seathiel Treehawks
DW: Jerkin’ James Whitcroft (3), of Just Norsin’ Around; and Horthien “Tenacity” (3) & Erugoldur “Funny” (3), of Dignity
BIGGEST BRUTE
This season’s Biggest Brutes fell short of double digits in knockouts, which the Skuttle Butts’ Decapitator and the Bill COWher Power Hour’s Knob Creek (What happened to that guy? He’s been pretty quiet this season.) achieved last season, but coming within 1 of their mark at 9 in 1 less match is arguably more impressive on the part of IMPWaH (Just Norsin’ Around) & Doric Ratsmasher (Granite City Grimbeards).
Conference Leaders
DW: IMPWaH (9), of Just Norsin’ Around; Runner-Up: Nice ‘N’ Sticky (8), of Just Norsin’ Around
WFC: Doric Ratsmasher (9), of Granite City Grimbeards; Runner-Up: Bernie (5), of Praag no5 team
NSC: Snow (7), of Champions of Valhalla; Runner-Up: Sagat (4), of SupeR StreetFighter ElveS
IL: Gutrad (5) & Braduk Break’Throat (5), of Wrecking kru; Knob Creek (5), of Bill COWher Power Hour; and Terry Bruise (5), of Stop Rolling Ones!!!
F4: Oatlgor of Tlaxtlan (5), of Dragonborn Tidefighters; Runner-Up: Haliastur (4), of Seathiel Treehawks
DVC: Louise (5) & Robshank (5), of The Green Tide Titans; and Mad magnus ISIC (5), of Solus savers
SCC: Azhag Eat-Spleen (4), of Da Green Fist; and Rokk (4) & Gorfang Goug’Calf (4), of Yate Yobz 2.3
WAC: Wade (4) & Snake (4), of Leaping Lizard; and Bane (4), of Hissstory of Violence
MOST VIOLENT
Wade, of Leaping Lizard, was crowned Most Violent Player in S3 after inflicting 10 casualties; but, apparently, he’s all about kaizen, because he blew that mark out of the water with 15 inflicted casualties in in S4, with 1 less match played! To put in perspective how dominant he was this season, his runner-ups in this category have 8 casualties! He almost doubled their number!
Conference Leaders
WAC: Wade (15), of Leaping Lizard; Runner-Up: Mahtar’nwaen (5), of Leaf Dancers
WFC: Bernie (8), of Praag no5 team; Runners-Up: Finber Elf-Bruiser (6), of Granite City Grimbeards; and David (6), of Praag no5 team
DW: IMPWaH (8), of Just Norsin’ Around; Runner-Up: Simenion “Physique” (5), of Dignity
IL: Braduk Break’Throat (7), of Wrecking kru; Runner-Up: Morgoth (6), of Wrecking kru
DVC: Robshank (5), of The Green Tide Titans; and Yn-hyn Nag’aur (5), of Merthyr Shock’n’Ore
SCC: Badruk Eat’Skullz (5), of Yate Yobz 2.3; Runners-Up: Rafi (4), of Rodentia Ad Nauseam; Rein Advar (4), of Los Pumas; and Grubak Break’Hand (4), of Yate Yobz 2.3
NSC: Captain Morgan (5), of The Kentucky Bourbons; and Snow (5), of Champions of Valhalla
F4: MCAttack (4), of Norse Leap til Brooklyn; and Itzahutec (4), of Dragonborn Tidefighters
SERIAL KILLER
While the death toll has dramatically risen in S4 (I’ll defer to League Apothecary More_Shots for the exact stats), only 2 players finished the season as serial killers. IMPWaH, of Just Norsin’ Around, has killed 3 players, which is more than any other player accomplished in S3 or S4 (individual statistics were not recorded in S1 or S2). Grubnash Bruis’Hand, of Yate Yobz 2.3, finished with 2 kills.
BEST INTERCEPTOR
Just like S3, no player recorded more than 1 interception. However, there were 5 interceptions this season, compared to only 3 in S3…so there’s that. S4’s Best Interceptors (which isn’t saying much) were: Morost, of Yate Yobz 2.3; Karel, of Praag no5 team; Vardrin, of Granite City Grimbeards; Shig Paw, of Innsmouth Deep Ones; and Eccentric, of Dignity.
BEST PUNCHING BAGS
Well, it was a close race to see who could get knocked out the most, but the 2 S4 winners of this award really took one several for the team…literally. Veassen Aladanae & Longrod von Hugendong, of Thee Grandiose Gladiators, went out like Thelma and Louise, each getting knocked unconscious 7 times this season, which eclipses S3’s 6-knockout mark! Now, let’s all line up to take their lunch money appropriately congratulate them on their achievement.
Conference Mark-Azz Bustas
NSC: Veassen Aladanae (7) & Longrod von Hugendong (7), of Thee Grandiose Gladiators
F4: Ovid the Illmatic (4), of Norse Leap til Brooklyn; Punk-Behind Sidekicks: Wilton Sabotage (4) & Red Hooks (4), of Norse Leap til Brooklyn
WAC: Silly (5), of Leaping Lizard; Punk-Behind Sidekicks: Belarimar (3), Githanur (3) & Torayne (3), of Leaf Dancers; Wade of Leaping Lizard (3); and Salamence (3), of Hissstory of Violence
IL: Sacrificial Elf #2 (4), of Stop Rolling Ones!!!; and Gutrad (4), of Wrecking kru
SCC: Psoriasis (4), of Rodentia Ad Nauseam; Punk-Behind Sidekicks: Volgott Gut-Spitter (3), of Los Pumas; Groost (3), Tokhor (3) & Uegru (3), of Da Green Fist; and Herpes Gestationis (3) & Thanuk (3), of Rodentia Ad Nauseam
WFC: Homer (4) & Smashceratops (4), of TMNL
DVC: Bantain (4), of The Blitzkriegers; and Reginfrear (4), of Solus savers
DW: Louis d’Epee (3) & PreachMJ (3), of Mousillon Morningstars; Captain Tragedy (3), of Just Norsin’ Around; and Simenion “Physique” (3), Suiônduil “Eccentric” (3) & Nimphenien “Fortress” (3) of Dignity
Yay Royalty!
Awesome job Sesiousjest!!