Semifinal with Dignity

Semifinal with Dignity

by Alan Mittag

Tensions were high all week.  Ever since it was determined that the Wrecking Kru would meet Dignity in the semifinals, Coach Sestonn has been on edge.  He doesn’t have a very good record against Coach Caven08.  This morning, when news came in that the match was scheduled and would be taking place at the Wrecking Kru’s stadium, Coach Sestonn screamed and locked himself in his office.  An hour later, Tactician was allowed in, but neither have come back out, so it was a good time to interview Dignity and see how the players felt about this upcoming match.

Royalty, Dignity’s star thrower, was at his desk working on the design for his #CleaningUpTheMML group that he wants to start in the next season.  “Royalty?”  I called, hoping that he could take a break for a short interview.

The Elf’s eyes turned up from his work.  “What?”

I pulled out my notebook as I said, “Royalty, how do you feel about the upcoming match….”

He cut me off mid sentence.  “It will be a great mark for #CleaningUpTheMML when we beat those filthy dirt elves from the First 4.  From that victory, a new revolution will begin.  And we will force all of the lesser races to take better care of themselves, and our League.”

“Wait, what?  You are facing the Wrecking Kru.”

“Who?”  Royalty said, then a light dawned on him.  “Oh them, yes.  Don’t let yourself be trapped, Alan.  Always be looking to the future.  That’s my bit of advice for today.  You see, when you look to the future….”

I left him there.  I had to learn the hard way how to end a conversation with Royalty.

Funny’s private quarters were the first in the hall, so I stopped there and gave the door a knock.  Laughter on the other side of it came to a sudden stop, then hushed voices.  I waited, and a few moments later the door opened.

That’s where I saw something that would haunt my dreams for the rest of my life.  A male dwarf with bright orange and purple stripes in his hair and beard, stood there in a pink bikini, patches of thick curly hair busting out of it every which way.  He gave a little giggle and covered his mouth.  “Funny is kind of busy right now,” he said in the most masculine-feminine voice I have ever heard.  He glanced back in the room and giggled again.  “Actually, he’s kind of tied up.”

“Um….”  I had no words.

“You could come in and play too?”  the dwarf asked, covering his giggle again.

“Yeah… no.  No thanks,” I said, hurrying down the hall.

“More for me then,” he said.

Next was Eccentric’s room.  I knocked on his door.  “Eccentric’s not here,” Eccentric said from the other side of the door.  “He’s definitely not working on a new strategy to suggest to Tactician and Coach Sestonn.  And he has absolutely no idea what to do against the Wrecking Kru’s unbreakable offense.”

“Ok….”  I said.  “Let him know that Alan was here.”

“I already know that you’re here….oh.  I mean, yea, I’ll tell him.”

I left Eccentric’s door and continued down the hall.  Tenacity’s room was next.  I knocked.  There was no answer.  So I knocked again, “Tenacity?”  Still no answer.  I continued down the hall to Physique’s room.

Just as I reached out to knock, the door opened.  Physique was saying good-bye to two of the most beautiful human women I have ever seen, both blond, and both buttoning up their tops.  When he saw me, he smiled and grabbed me in a headlock, twisting my body around.  “Have you girls met our team Archivist?”

One of the girls said, “I’ve read every story you’ve written, Mr. Mittag.”

“Me too!” said the other.

Physique ground his fist into the top of my scalp as he said, “I didn’t know you girls could read.”

They both giggled at him, not the least bit slighted.  “Of course we can read, silly.”

Then the other said, “You want us to come back tonight?”

“I don’t think so, Baby,” Physique said.  “You’re beautiful, but you didn’t want to do that thing I asked.  And there’s a Wood Elf lady who’s been begging to show me a good time.”

That one seemed to hit them.  Their giggles suddenly stopped.  Their postures sent serious.

One of them opened her mouth to say something, but Physique cut her off.  While still grinding his fist into the top of my head, he said, “Ok girls, get on out of here.  I’ve got some training to do.”  He dragged me into his room and slammed the door in their faces.




  1. Gutrad just dares Royalty to bring a bar of soap near him…excited for Sunday’s match! See you on the pitch!

  2. I am more concerned about what happened to Alan when he got dragged into Physique’s room…. Great story, again, Ses. The dwarf, though… Not the dwarf. 😉 I didn’t realise the sordid going’s on at your ground. Lol. 😉

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