Soundtrack to Excellence

This post is part of the series The Big Bad Wight

Other posts in this series:

  1. Soundtrack to Excellence (Current)
  2. First Blood
  3. And the Crowd Goes Wild!

ONCE UPON A TIME, there was a Big, Bad Wight, who made it his business to toughen up a bunch of sappy, pillow-fighting  necromantics named after rom coms.

His doubters, critics, and haters would claim that his first game as a Hopeless Necromantic was underwhelming, but he would just dismiss them as being “jealous again.” While it was true that he took more punches in that match than he threw…that he failed to break anyone’s armor…and even that he was knocked out in Turn 1 of the match and didn’t return until the second half…but, look, you’re missing the point: his presence on the team inspired his teammates to fight…to play tough…with a chip on their shoulder. Again, his haters would give all the credit to the Hack, the chainsaw-wielding star player who terrorized the Magrita Misfits throughout the first half before being ejected for “violating rules” or some other crap; but in reality, Hack only knocked out one player with his chainsaw, stunned another, and killed a third, who was apoed. The match-lasting injuries were inflicted by the ultra-strong flesh golum Atlach the Cadaverous (plus 2 KOs), the mighty werewolf Garden State (plus 1 KO), and the guard-skilled zombie Lepto Spirosis II, all of whom have been notoriously spending extra time with Jelly in the weight room. No, it was clear right from Week 1 of Season 12 that Jelly’s piercing, bone-chilling war cry has become the soundtrack to the ‘Romantics’ renewed excellence.

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