Tale of the Order of the Holy Squirrel pt 3




                                                  The Tale of the Order of The Holy Squirrel part 3



Marcus Leightdorf , a writer for Spike Magazine had travelled a great distance from Reikland in the Empire, to the Kingdom of Parravon in Bretonnia, to acquire information on the MML’s newest Bretonnian team , The Order of the Holy Squirrel and to write the story of the teams rising fame .

Upon arrival Marcus had met the Holy Squirrel’s head coach and owner Sir Andy Von Cook . A proud boisterous man who clearly had a great love for his team and the hundreds of Squirrels that occupied the teams stadium . ( All of which can be read in parts 1 & 2 dear readers in the links at the top of the page )

Marcus learns of the tragic fate of Parravons maiden Blood Bowl team,  Sir Andy’s quest to build a new stronger team and also why there is a treeman growing in the stadium. But the most pressing question is still to be answered . Why oh why are there so many squirrels?


The final chapter

The Stadium was finally completed , not to the high expectations of the original design but beggars can’t be choosers. The players had been scouted and hired , their new armour and kit freshly oiled and cleaned , coaching staff prepping the pitch for the teams first training session and the cheer leaders going over their routines on the sidelines making sure they were just as ready for the their first match.

Sir Andy Von Cook , owner and head coach of the team was dressed in the finery of a knight of Bretonnia. Rich robes of fine Tilian silk hung from his board shoulders, long chestnut hair framing a scared face that had seen many a battle, with deep blue eyes that had looked upon many horrors and which held a great many years of knowledge in their depts.

He stood in the doorway of his office which looked out over the commotion below with great pride. A huge smile splitting his lips, his chest puffing out as he took a long deep breath, soaking up the image before him and all the great things he envisioned for the team.

All the long months of hard work and toil had finally lead to this moment. Sure the stadium was rather ramshackle but Sir Andy was just relived to have it finished, and none of it would matter once they starting winning matches and earning coin to properly finish the place.

Just one thing was left to do, quite a big thing to most people but Sir Andy had been struggling with it for many weeks and couldn’t decide on it .

What is the Teams name ?

To some this would be an easy answer and many locals and staff members had their  ideas  but Sir Andy didn’t want to pick just any old name. Many people were saying the team should be named after Parravon’s previous team, The Knights of Parravon . But  Sir Andy wanted a new name for a new team, just deciding on one though was proving rather troublesome. Alas it shall have to wait for there was something more pressing, the team’s first training session .

Training was going rather well, despite some of the players knowing each other for only  a short time there was a common goal between them, and every player strove to achieve it . To become the greatest Bretonnian team in the league that they would call home, the Mead and Mayhem League, the MML.

Sir Andy was sitting on the team bench going over a few attacking plays when he heard a light scratching sound near his feet. Looking down to see that there was only a helmet on the ground. Suddenly the helmet moved ever so slightly, then again, Sir Andy reaches down to grab the it and out springs a tiny red squirrel.

” Now where did you come from my little friend ?”

The squirrel hops up Sir Andy’s leg, then sits on his knee , big wide eyes staring back into his, tiny little pools of utter blackness that looked as if they would swallow you whole. Then a great commotion breaks out amongst the team on the pitch , dozens more squirrels were now invading the pitch, with many more popping out of different nooks and crannies . “What in the name of the Lady is going on ?” he exclaims.


” So…they just appeared from know where ?” Marcus enquires.

Dusk had began to settle in, the last few beams of light shone through the window as the sun began to slowly sink below the horizon. A  great many pages of Marcus’ note pad had been filled recalling the Orders tale. Sir Andy once again sat in his great Ogre leather chair with his squirrel companion nestled in his lap.

“The staff thought the squirrels had magically sprung from the ground due to the amount of them lad. But it turns out the Elven trees we cut down to finish the stadium were their homes.” Sir Andy continued , “I called an emergency meeting and told the staff and towns people to start getting rid of the tiny creatures , But the moment the peasantry got anywhere near them they would start dotting the things, they would feed them and pet them,  rather than stamp on their heads like I had originally ordered”

Marcus was taken aback by this last statement , “But I thought you held these squirrels in high regard?” asks Marcus. “We do dear boy ” replied Sir Andy ” But at first I thought we’d become a laughing stock if we had a stadium full of squirrels.”

“So what happened?” inquired Marcus.  “Well lad, we needed to get in a practice game before joining the MML so we organised a ‘friendly’ against an elf team, the Galloping Gruffalos . The fans turned up in their hundreds because word had gotten out that our stadium was home to these fuzzy little chaps ” Then Sir Andy gives his tiny squirrel companion on his lap a gentle scratch behind the ear. ” The match kicked off and the most peculiar thing happened, the squirrels were watching the game.”

Marcus scoffed at the statement . “Squirrels liking Blood Bowl ? sounds a bit farfetched Sir”

“On the contrary my lad ” Replied Sir Andy, an amused glint in his eyes. “Not only did they watch us but aided us as well.” “Every time our opponent tried to make a pass a squirrel would leap at him to cause a fumble, each time a player tired to run that extra few yards , a squirrel would jump at his feet . And every time we knocked a player off the pitch , the squirrels would swarm him ! ” Sir Andy let out a bellowing laugh , like a person who was laughing at their own private joke. ” The squirrels wanted us to Win !” declared the Knight . ” 5-0 the final score , 5-0 ! Never had anyone seen such a sight. The fans celebrated like never before and soon claims were made that these squirrels were the divine act of the Lady herself .” said Sir Andy .

“With so many people declaring the Holiness of these squirrels and what great things we could achieve  with them, I dubbed the team,   The Order of the Holy Squirrel ”

Upon hearing the name of the team spoken aloud every squirrel in the office sat up to attention . All their tiny little faces looking at  Marcus, which sent a chill down the journalists spine. ” So ” began Marcus turning back to his host. ” What is next for the Holy Squirrels ?”

Sir Andy slowly stands from his chair and leans over his huge desk , his face inches away from Marcus’, his face a mixture of excitement and impending violence and eyes lit up like the fires of hell .Then  two words oozed from the Knights lips like sticky honey.

” The Pro’s ”








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