The Death of a Reporter

The following is from an interview I did with the unreliable snotling Punk , and the unverified sketches by his brother Graff:

Punk in his own words recalls what happened today: My brother Graff woke me up and said he needed my help to find John. So off we go to the last place he said he saw him. We get there, and outside the stadium we see these young skinks kicking around a head. Graff shouts, “It John, you dam kids leave that head alone!” We chase the kids away and retrieve John’s head. “The only way to find out what happened to John is to go to the witch elf Siren, so that is where we go. Once we get there, Graff places his head on Siren’s table next to the crystal ball. He hands her a gold coin, and tell her he needs to know what happened to him before he died. She does her witch mumbo jumbo, then an image appears on the crystal ball. Graff takes out his sketch pad to record what we saw and heard.

On the ball: John hears something running up behind, he turn to see what it is, a krox grabs, picks him up, and thumps him on the head. Everything go black for awhile, then John wakes up, and finds himself strapped to a chair. Across from him sits on throne a huge frogman puffing on a long pipe.

The frog, “So John Slicer you worthless apo, why are you still hanging around the Aztec property?”

John, “I am a reporter for Inside the MML now, and trying to find out what is going on here.”

“ls that so,” said the frog blowing smoke rings at John.

John, “Who are you, the rest of the other frogmen, and that flying ship outside?”

The frog croaks, “Have you heard of the Slann? John shakes his head no, so the frog continues, We are the Slann, a space faring race that landed on this planet eons ago, and have been here ever since. By the way, I am Blotus their leader.”

John, “Why have we not heard or seen you before this”

Blotus, “We are great sports fans and we used to play Blood Bowl in the beginning, but we were accused of cheating and banned from playing. So, we slipped into the background, used the Lizardmen to satisfy our hunger for sport. Now the younger Slann said that is not enough, we want to play.”

John, “The league is not going to let you play.”

Blotus, “Well that’s not true, because of our science and magic, we have a way of transforming ourselves into humans or just about any like size form. To use a big one, we had to transform a krox into the bear, who are still hard to control with a crystal implant, but it’s better than one of us trying to be the big guy. The new team will play in the league as Kislev.”

John, “You guys are not going to get away with this.”

“Why do you say that?” says Blotus

John, “Because I am going to let them know.”

Blotus croaks , “What makes you think you will tell them…hmmm. Montezuma, lunchtime!”

John screams as he sees a drooling krox come stomping into the room. The ball fades to black.

Punk to Graff, “Talking about lunch, I am going out to get some, see you later.”

Punk to Bort, “And that is last time i saw my brother Graff, the witch, and John’s head. So, don’t call me, I will call you, later dude.”

-this has been Bort Boaring the new beastman on the pitch.


  1. Slann magic is powerful magic!

    “You think you’re wow! You think you’re wizz! – Well just remember whose planet this is!” – (Lustrian Croakers, motto)

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