The Goblin Gambling Journals: Chapter 2 Kansas City Shuffle

4-8-17 The boat was almost loaded and ready to head back West.  Smoke on the horizon showed the location of a massive fire.  The overcast weather gave a gloom to the entire place.  Goblin Gambling wanted me back west and the team was starting to get restless in the East so the move came naturally.  Goblin Gambling always has a plan.  Goblins are know for scheming up little tricks and GG was the best of the best when it came to clever tricks.  But, they haven’t gotten their hands dirty for years.  They are the puppet masters of it all.  They control the power and the players and the trophies.  I’ve heard of entire leagues played under the banner of GG.  But I’m getting ahead of myself.  Before you ever see or hear of these things they first have to pick you.  You don’t pick them.  They pick you… then they find a way to force you into joining them.  Once they have you onboard they give you a test to make sure you will be loyal and can be trusted.  My test was to get them the big trophy.  Something the MML had and they wanted so very badly.  They had done everything in their power to get it but, they came up short time after time.  So, if I could get it they would be impressed.  So, I did the one thing GG didn’t try.  I came up with a scheme so far outside logic that even the gobbos didn’t think of it.  It was a Kansas City Shuffle and this is the story of how I did it.

Was after the worst season we had ever had.  The team sat in the ash covered field that once was our stadium.  A wizards fireball burnt it down and at the center of the destruction was 2 fresh graves from the players we had lost in that game.  Looking down at the graves gave me the idea.  It wouldn’t be easy.  We’d need to be in the playoffs to create and alibi. We’d need a fall man and we’d need a bit of luck from nuffle.  We also, would have to call in help from a man I promised to never bring back to MML soil again.  I acted quickly to get the wheels in motion.  We added Carbomb to replace  our dead CW and I sent a message to GG letting the know I would need the services of Mr. Goodkat.  At first GG was reluctant to allow Goodkat to help me.  They didn’t want such a powerful person in contact with someone they didn’t fully trusted.  I reminded them that it wouldn’t be the first time I’ve had worked with Goodkat and that I only needed him cause he was a man that GG could trust.  I would go elsewhere to get the job done.  But, that would put the entire job at risk.

Goodkat now in play meant no turning back.  If I failed my half of the deal he would kill me and anyone that had been in contact with him during the job.  See, Goodkat didn’t trust anyone but himself.  He was a loner in the truest sense.  But, that’s what made him so important to the plan.  He was a ghost.  Now it was time to hold up my end of the deal.

S6 was a tough season.  Was a play pool of death.  Skilled teams and coaches every week.  Luck was on our side and we somehow made it to the playoffs.  Even made  solid run to win it all.  But, we didn’t reach our goal of winning it all.  That trophy went to the great Princes of Arioch The Power Hour may have came up a bit short of their goals.  But, meanwhile I was completing greater goals.  I got a trophy that was worth more than the MML Championship.

See during the playoffs a horrible crime was committed.  At a Titans a hitman’s crossbow bolt stuck prise Troll, Big Mo, in the eye and rendered him dead.  Chaos ensued and speculations of who did it were everyplace.  The Titans hired a PI named Tom Kettering to get to the bottom of it all and he quickly named Star Titans Blitzer and Diva Gorbag Marlarr and the person responsible.  But, Ton Kettering failed to account for one thing.  Gorbag was a very talented BB player and eluded the police and went on the run.  A man hunt was put out of the orc blitzer.  But, he was never caught.  He found a new home with the Western orc Grunts.  Tom Kettering then in his by the book manner double checked his evidence.  He took his time and started slowly putting things together.  Then a few weeks ago he finally connected enough dots and gathered enough evidence to go public with his findings that Gorbag was framed.  But the problem with by the book is that it doesn’t happen fast enough.  While he was doing all his book work Mr. Goodkat was also hard at work.  He pulled the trigger.  He planted the evidence to make it look like other people.  Getting Gorbag out of the protection of the Titans was an important step.  That was a goal of GG.  But, that was for further plans.Goodkat kept Tom Kettering busy ass long as he could.  Goodkat also did me the favor of stealing Ketterings evidence after his press conference.  He would ghost in and out of places and get things done.  He was about to finish the last step in this plan.

A team of goblins walks up with a large dirt covered box, Mr. Goodkat followed them.

I ask to Good kat, “You get all the evidence against me collected and loaded into the stadium before you started that fire?”

(He nods in the affirmative)

I ask,”The conversion go to plans?”

(He shrugs)

“Lets have a look.”

We pry the nails from the massive box and as the lid slowly comes loss a glow for green begins to come from the box.  The the smell hit.  The smell of a thousand farts being released at one time.  It was a foul enough smell to make several of the goblins run away and one passed out from the first smell of the rank order.  The lid lifted away to show a troll glowing green with a long straw hooked to a large bag of glowing green liquid.  He eye socket had a crossbow bolt but end sticking out about 3 inches where it had been then broken off so the lid would close.

I wonder if he is dead and then he moans as a line of fresh droll streaks from the corner of his mouth.
“Take it easy big guy,  You might want to sit in the box for while.  That warp bag will get you busy for  while and when that runs out we got more good stuff for you.”

“Thanks for your work Ab…uhh, I mean Goodkat.  It’s not very honorable work we do… but, someone has to do it.  I’m sure we’ll meet again some day.  I have to head West to deliver this trophy and you still have work here in the East.”

The ship sets off to the West.  I look back at the land as it slowly shrinks.  Tom Kettering is going to be in a panic when he figures all this out.  No evidence and no body…
“They look right… …and you… go left.”

The Troll groans as he stands up out of the box and looks at the horizon.   Touches the end of the bolt sticking from his face and then reaches out slowly to the disappearing land.

“Sorry about that, Big. But sometimes there’s more to life than just livin’. Besides, you can’t have a Kansas City Shuffle without a body.”

I turn towards the troll, “Big Mo, we are going on a trip to someplace new.  A lot of things will change moving forward.  You will be honored and praised as a star.  It’s a different world out here.  You are the  trophy transfer from the MML to GGUWL. You’re a Warpstone Troll now. Might even be the best Warpstone troll.  (sigh) We are alone in this new place.  But, I’ll look out for you the best I can.”

I retire below deck leaving the Troll with his thoughts and dreams.


  1. Using his league apo privileges to allow access to the body… only the #CorruptCommish would allow this…

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