Week 8 Injury Report

Hello , Apothecary More_Shots here we are heading into week 8 and here is your injury update.  With 5 deaths this week and increases in injuries this season the league is looking into making rules against “kill” teams.  In a closed door meeting high ranking coaches talked about the issue and rumors are that the league “Doesn’t have a kill team issue at this time” and that “We will be watching for it.”  As league APO this increase has been most profitable for me and I welcome the overtime pay.


INJURED, Lineman Ratty Ratty Piper for Mauz

INJURED, Skink Qlamiq-shi for The Cold Hard Truth

INJURED, Long Beard Stanley for Praag No5 Team

INJURED, Lineman Belarithra for White Owlz

INJURED, Skink Torpedorapator for TMNL

INJURED, Saurus Killmono Dragon for TMNL

INJURED, Lineman Gaesmal for The Blitzkriegers

INJURED, Saurus Oatlatl for Reptile Dysfunction

INJURED, Lineman Marbaire for Darvi Bloodwings

INJURED, Lineman Morkzog for Wrecking Kru

INJURED, Black Orc Braduk Break’Throat for Wrecking Kru

INJURED, Blitzer Sweetn Sowa for Pork Attack

INJURED, Lineman Morkgob for New Orcland Grunts


(Puts the needle onto an old dusty record )

*Bob Dylan– Knockin’ on Heaven’s Door plays softly*

Many of our regular readers will recall in the Week 4 report this season I reported of Eldril Sidewinder potential death during a Rockets game.  Since then he has been seen alive and in good health.  This week we have another report of Star Player elf faking his death to avoid having to finish a game.  Willow was playing on the White Owlz and we at the league apothecary offices believe he also faked his death,  We have evidence that his check for the game was cashed the next day and that he has been photographed on a sunny beach drinking boat drinks and playing volleyball with witch elves.  So, be careful when you hire these “Star Players” they can’t be trusted.


White Owlz

Star Player Willow: Deceased (Maybe)









Mauz Lineman Rodent Bently: Deceased









Reptile Dysfuntion Saurus Goqtoc of Despair: Deceased









Gottleib Gladiators Catcher Mikael Vogin Jr.: Deceased









Loren Rocket Lineman Lothanfel: Deceased









My condolences go out to all coaches who have lost players this week in the Pro, Challenge, and . We play a violent game and this is the price we all play for the opportunity to taste sweet and achieve fame and glory in the .

As always, I’ve got a shot for ya,