Wrecking Kru grind out Playoff win over Witch’s Coven

Hello sports fans! Welcome to OSPN’s playoff edition of Wrecking Kru weekly! We are in the locker room with Coach Caven and the Wrecking Kru following a tense, thrilling surprisingly evenly matched contest! Our favorite Orc side managed to win and advance to meet an opponent yet to be determined, but it wasn’t an easy victory by any means! Let’s get straight to Coach Caven for the inside scoop!

Coach, congratulations on yet another first round victory! How is the team feeling after such a tough match?

“Thanks, Harry! One word: RELIEVED! It was much tougher than anticipated by our fans, but the lads and myself expected a very close, tough match. From the very beginning, it was a chess match. Their team value was lower than ours, with the possibility of being much lower if the Coven were to shed some gold bloat. We contemplated cutting Dirty, in order to even out the TV a bit, but didn’t want to make the move until the Coven made theirs. They kept it, so we kept Dirty. We ended up facing a league appointed wizard, which we knew we would, so that wasn’t much of a surprise. We had game planned for that all along, so we stuck to our plan throughout the whole match. The Coven’s defense was much tougher than we had expected. We weren’t penetrating their armor like we had hoped, and expected, until much later in the match. They were very resilient, and caused a lot of problems for us, offensively. The first half equalizer would be the key, in our opinion. We needed to get that in order to proceed with our game plan. Had we not gotten that, you probably would have seen a more open style from our offense, even with the wizard still on the board for them. We managed to get the winner at the very last second, but had to scratch for that, as well. If not for a failed pass on their part, this very well could be a loss instead of a win.”

Coach, you mentioned the Coven defense. Can you elaborate on how good they were?

“Harry, to be honest, it is a very basic, typical Dark Elf defense. Nothing flashy, nothing overly tough to handle. However, combine that with the outstanding ability of Coach Gerdleah, and you have a first class, very unpredictable defense. Coach Gerdleah moved his team masterfully throughout the whole match, and managed to thwart just about everything that we wanted to do, forcing us to make adjustments along the way. One of those moves almost cost us when Gutrad came back for protection with the ball, and parked too close to a Dark Elf that has mastered the art of stripping the ball out of the opponents hands. They managed to gain possession, but we then managed to get it back, and ultimately score the winner. We were not prepared for how agile and fast they really are. They are better than the two elf teams we faced this season, only because they are much more capable of taking a hit than their high-born cousins. Truly, an absolutely amazing team for as few skills they have managed.”

Coach Caven, their ability to stay in the game after taking hits from the Kru was key. Was there an issue with the Kru, in particular Takru?

“Harry, we are still the same team we were in week 1. We don’t have any issues with making our hits. As for Takru, what many people probably don’t know is that he suffered a slight concussion against the PieRats in the season finale. He was knocked out, and missed most of the first half of that match. Following league safety protocols, he barely passed the concussion rating. He woke up for the second half, but we kept him on the bench in order to have him for this match. We didn’t need the win against the PieRats, and going in to the playoffs healthy was our main concern. Takru is still suffering a few lingering side effects from that concussion, but he got better as the match progressed. We think he will be 100% for our next match.”

Gutrad seemed to take the team on his shoulders today. Was that planned, or was it just him making a statement?

“Gutrad is a special player. He can do it all. He has been content to be a great teammate and great team player. We have stressed to him that he needs to play larger, get some notice, make people see him, in order to get the MML MVP award. He has been hesitant. He doesn’t want to take anything away from his brothers. Tonight, I think he realized that he had to take over if were going to win. He dished out some great hits, managed to possess the ball, and even threw the game winner. That is what a great player does. He wasn’t making a statement. He was just playing to the best of his ability.”

Coach, how far can this team go this playoff season?

“It really depends on the draw, Harry. We feel like being in the Final Four is where we belong, but we also feel like we can advance to and win the final. Of course, there will be opposition. We would love to face the winner of Dignity vs Leaf Dancers. We have history with both of those teams. You know we want to avenge the tainted victory by Dignity from last season. We handled them in the first match of the season, and would welcome another opportunity to kill High Elves. Leaf Dancers were a very tough team to face, as well. But, we feel like we can use attrition to our advantage in that match up. Same thing with the White Owlz. The Elf teams normally can’t hold up to our strength, tonight’s foes being the exception. Green Tide Titans would be a matchup for the ages, and we feel like that should be the final. Orc vs Orc for the Title! We can’t dismiss the lizards, Reptile Dysfunction, however. They have a strong case for making a run at the final, too. They would be a very tough matchup for us. We do feel like we have an advantage in certain areas, that would negate their skink agility and speed. We feel really good about our chances in the next match, but our opponent will dictate how much confidence we have.”

Speaking of Green Tide Titans, Coach Thunden is on record saying he is not a member of the Coaches Board, and that it doesn’t exist. Your thoughts?

“Coach Thunden is just trying to appease Nuffle by denying what all of us know to be the truth! The Coaches Board is a corrupt institution, trying everything they can to script their seasons and playoffs. Wrecking Kru is proud to be a team that won’t bow to their pressure, and won’t follow any script. Have you heard about the new league format for season 6? No? Well, it seems that the bottom two Pro teams will now be relegated to the Challenge League! As if this is English Soccer! Blood Bowl is based on the great ancient North American football league, where there was no such thing as relegation! Pro owners should protest! They have invested a lot of money into developing their teams, and to be relegated to a lower league because they lost is preposterous! If this system had been in place during the old league, the Cleveland Browns would have turned into a high school team!! The Coaches Board is slowly turning this league into a mirror of what is wrong in all of sports. The EPL, where players and championships are bought, not earned. Buy the opponents best player away from them, then collect all the best players, and win the Title. Absolutely disgraceful!”

Well, Coach, it seems we are out of time. Any last thoughts before we let you get back to the team?

“Yes, Harry, there is. Our Challenge League team, the Highspire Rangers, were destroyed tonight by a group of uppity dwarves, naming themselves “Revang of the dwarves.” They took to fouling downed players, when there was not a need to. The Wrecking Kru has a message for them. If they find themselves in the Pros, they better be ready for some payback, WK style! We don’t forget. We will remember, and we will administer some Orc justice for our Challenge League compatriots!”

Well, there you have it, folks! Coach Caven is fired up and ready for the next round! Who will the Kru have to face? Will they be able to advance to their second Championship appearance in three seasons? Will they face their greenskin brothers, The Green Tide Titans? Tune in next week for another exciting episode of OSPN’s Wrecking Kru weekly, special playoff edition! For OSPN, this is Harry Gobbo saying so long!


  1. What the heck, Thunden? You were supposed to clear out your side and meet the Kru for an all Orc final! Green superiority needs to shine through!

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