Wrecking Kru prepare for Title Defense

Hello again, sports fans! This is Harry Gobbo, reporting for OSPN, from the home of the Wrecking Kru! We are here during the team’s final practice before their quarterfinal match against the Wood Elf team, the Leaf Dancers! I have been out watching Takru and Gutrad, the star Blitzers, take turns running headlong into Braduk Break’Throat, the massive Black Orc. The boys seem to be giving just as good as they get. Rotnail, the team’s thrower, is tossing the pig to Blitzer Graoth, while the football lies on the sideline next to Coach Caven. I believe we even caught a glimpse of Stonepuke, the exiled Troll, trying to sneak into practice. Coach Caven had Orc Patrol escort Stonepuke off the premises with orders to burn him if he tries to get back on the field! Standing on a table behind the Coach is the MML Championship trophy, a stunning reminder of what the boys are about to play for! It’s just another typical practice here at ‘Ome Turf!

So Coach! What do you expect from the Leaf Dancers?

“Well, Harry, as you know, we have already faced two Wood Elf teams this season. Both teams made the mistake of trying to stay physical with us, keeping our guys marked by their guys. This plays right into our strategy. We love to bash and wrestle and tackle. The Leaf Dancers do not have a Treeman, and have four catchers on their roster. This leads me to believe that they are going to try to beat us with their speed. They are not as equipped to deal out hard hits like Stop Rolling Ones or Seathiel Treehawks were. They will be fielding three journeymen against us, which makes me feel sorry for them. We are going to stick to our gameplan, and hope that they do try to go up the sidelines and outrun us. We are very adept at playing defense, so if we stick to our plan, we should be ok.”

So, you feel like victory is yours?

“I didn’t say that, Harry! Don’t go giving the Woodies bulletin board material! We are just confident that they will try to avoid as much contact as possible, which helps us. These playoffs are very similar to last season, where we were faced with the prospect of facing three straight Lizardman teams, only this season it is Wood Elves. The little harpies are everywhere!”

Coach, what do you know about the Eastern Conference?

“Other than it is full of teams from the Eastern division, not much. There was a good Orc team, two good Wood Elf teams and a good High Elf team. It’s really a surprise that more Chaos or even Dwarf teams didn’t make it out of the East. I guess speed never has a bad day over there. In the West, speed better make sure it is free and clear, or brute strength wins the day!”

One last question, Coach. How do you feel about Bill Cowher Power Hour moving to a different league next season?

“Well, we have mixed emotions. Power Hour was a bad matchup for us. They had our number. They were our bogeyman team. And they were their own worst enemy. Both of the last two seasons, their failure in the last game has allowed us to make it in to the playoffs. We will definitely welcome new challengers to our Iron League title. However, we will miss all the free alcohol given out at Power Hour games. Man, Coach More_Shots really knows how to throw a shindig!”

Well, there you have it, sports fans! The final interview before the Wrecking Kru face the Leaf Dancers! Make sure to tune in and see if speed beats power, or if brute strength overtakes agility! It promises to be a good game and we will bring it to you live on OSPN! That’s all for now, this is Harry Gobbo saying so long! And remember, it it’s fit to print, it’s not in here!


  1. Nice reporting…. Although I can’t believe you *really* feel sorry for the Teehawks having to field journeymen, surely? ๐Ÿ˜‰ (No offence to the Treehawks and Sacerdotalist, of course.) It is ok to admit you really just want to smash and bash the pointies ๐Ÿ˜‰

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